Andrew J. Lederer

If life were a meritocracy, I'd be dead right now or at least have an injured toe or something.

I was walking through the porn-laden alleys of Soho tonight on the way to a gig. I got used to the fact that there was no vehicular traffic in these picturesque alleyways, only to round a corner onto a normal street without noticing the change.

While scanning a line of people waiting to get into some kind of club, I stepped in front of an oncoming motor scooter. Yes, I was fast enough to move away before the otherwise inevitable impact but what if the scooter had been faster or had been a motorcycle or a car or even a truck? My actions had not earned me survival. Survival was maintained solely through luck.

I had done the wrong thing and not paid for it. But in a random world, sometimes wrong is right. What if, down the line, I avoid being run over by a a lorrie (did I spell it right?) due to extra attentiveness resulting from tonight's near-collision? I would survive then because I did the wrong thing now. Is this fair?

I like anything that lets me continue as I am -- more or less alive. But these things that remind us that our fates are not necessarily in our own hands (which was fortunate for me this time 'round) give lie to the sense of control we crave.

I guess I'm now living on borrowed time. (Or borrowed bones. The scooter might merely have crunched a couple.) Perhaps the good Lord spared me so that I could fulfill a glorious destiny. Perhaps he let me stay alive so that I could live the rest of this wondrous night -- a night in which I got to see Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsdale in front of the Empire Theatre at the UK opening of "Click". How many mere mortals can make that claim?

I must be special to be so spared and so blessed.

And I did a funny show tonight, too.

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