Andrew J. Lederer

his (rapid) response seems promising:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: xxxxx.xxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx
Date: Mar 10, 2007 10:31 PM
Subject: Re: 3rd batch
To: "Andrew J. Lederer"

Sending me stuff on 10pm on a saturday night like a maniac. A man after my own heart.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


-----Original Message-----
From: "Andrew J. Lederer"
Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2007 22:10:15
To: xxxxx.xxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx
Subject: 3rd batch

just looked over the second batch and saw that my hasty typing fucked some of them up -- missing words, typos . .

ignore 'em. maybe i'll send 'em to you fixed, later.

first batch was kinda ok, though.

and i kinda like these.

Bush is Rubber and Chavez is Glue

President Bush, on tour in Latin America, responded to Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez's taunts today by demanding Chavez meet him at 3:15 in a Bolivian schoolyard to "settle things"

Chavez waited in the schoolyard for 45 minutes but Bush never showed up.

He did however, have his father, George HW Bush, pay a visit to Chavez's parents' house to make sure Hugo "got a whippin'"

Chavez responded by decreasing the amount of Venezuelan oil available for US import.

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Spring Forward, Fall Down

Remember to "spring forward" tonight as 1 am marks the start of daylight savings time.

But before springing, be sure to get out of bed. We don't want you to hurt yourself.

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Iraq in a Hard Place

At a regional conference this weekend, Iraq asked neighbors Iran and Syria for help in ending the violence that continues to plague the war-torn country.

Iran agreed to do everything possible to end the violence, promising to supply men and weapons to assist its neighbor.

Said Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, "We will end our neighbor's cycle of death and destruction if our well-financed insurgents have to kill every last Iraqi to do it."

And equally helpful President Bashaar sl-Assad of Syria said in a statement, "Yeah. . . . What Iran said."

Ahmadinejad cautioned against too much optimism, saying, "Remember, there's only so much we can do until we have the bomb."

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Crime of the Centenarian

A 101 year old woman was mugged in new york city yesterday.

The mugger got away with a walker and a jar of alzheimer's medication.

The incident was caught on tape and the formerly lonely old lady now has her own page on youtube and 3000 new friends.

"it seems no matter how long you live, there are always new experiences, ' mused the dazed old crone who said her goal of being a crime victim before she died having been met, she's now looking forward to the opportunity to do ecstasy.

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Desperate Surge

President George W. Bush has informed Congress he needs 8200 more troops for his wars in Iraq and Afghanistan

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi asked how we can be sure Bush won't require even more soldiers, seeing as this mini-surge comes just over a month after the beginning his previous surge of 25,100 troops..

"Hey, have I ever lied to you?" Bush replied.

When asked how he arrived at the 8200 troop figure, Bush admitted it was an estimate.

"We may only need 8,136," said the president. "No more than 8, 203 . I promise."