Andrew J. Lederer

take the laces out of my sneakers. so i could wear them without it being too painful too walk.

but when i went to the store or wherever, the shoes' tongues (i took 'em out of both sides, for balance) flopped around ridiculously.

i kinda looked like i had panting dogs on my feet (or on my "dogs," as my friend alan would likely have said, unwilling to let lie fallow any field of wordplay available for harvesting).

which wasn't a problem locally, as apparent indigence or craziness is probably protective against crime in the transitional area in which i live. but now i gotta pick up a check from city lights television (as detailed earlier) and i don't wanna look like . . . well, me.

so, i cut the tongues out of the sneakers, allowing me to walk but making imperfection less instantly recognizable.

i guess i should leave quickly, once i have the check, so they don't have too much time to scan me.

also, now, once the check is cashed, in addition to my other expenses, i have to buy new sneakers.

but i guess i can use these as slippers or something for walking around in the night.

seems there's a silver lining to every foot problem.