Andrew J. Lederer

very zen thing that sculptors say they do when they turn a block of stone into a replica of an elephant? just chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant?

i kinda wish people could do that when they look at you. just mentally chip away everything that doesn't look like you.

i will sometimes spend considerable time in front of the mirror attempting to see myself as i wish to be despite elements that conspire to make me look like something else. rather than changing essential elements -- maybe some of them are unchangeable -- i will move around in the light, push hair around, angle my my head, maybe even squint, and just generally do whatever is necessary to assure myself that i can be seen as i wish to be.

and it's true. i can be.

but i won't be. not likely, anyhow.

because other people aren't going to go through hoops to see what i want them to see. they'll see what's there within the context as they find it, not to mention their own perspective.