Andrew J. Lederer

i wasn't going to shave off my beard because of my associate's comment.

that only made me more determined to keep it.

but my father was back in new jersey and i was gonna see him for the first time since tucson (the last time i shaved off my beard) and i didn't want him to perceive the unruly appendage as the crystallized embodiment of everything that is, was and will be wrong in my life.

with the right clothes, the beard would probably look ok, however, i didn't have the right clothes and i didn't have the time or funds to get them in advance of my jaunt.

but then, when those four successive check cashing places rejected me, though my money was in my pocket, it was out of my hands.

so, i was forced to move new jersey to another day.

which meant, when "bearded me" was treated like i wasn't there by that normal-looking girl, i was no longer about to go out to my dad's place.

and the fifth check cashing place had given me my funds.

therefore, i didn't have to shave to avoid parental condemnation -- i could buy beard-appropriate clothes.

of course, in a way, this would be a cheat -- i had been judged irrelevant while marching around as a homeless-looking bearded guy, not a well-dressed manly guy. how could i show the world that the former guy was ok while being another guy who simply had some of the same hair?

but these were questions i could put off.

anything was possible as long as i had my facial hair.