Andrew J. Lederer

i woke last saturday to discover that my beard looked perfect, which meant i'd be ruining it by taking a shower -- a shower the rest of me sorely needed.

but i figured it out, washing body and hair while carefully avoiding getting water on the beard.

. . . which worked out fine.

. . . except for a tiny bit of beard hair, which i cut.

. . . hastily.

. . . and a little too much.

so, at the bat mitzvah, there was a little dent in my beard. and i was so concerned about the dent that i neglected to notice the flyaway hairs that had developed above my left ear.

the very ear the photographer had me turn toward him for the requisite extended family photo.

i heard my father ask aloud if he had room on the wall for one more of these photographs.

god, i hope not.