Andrew J. Lederer

behind the torah at last week's bat mitzvah, i felt my posture made me look ridiculous.

then, i looked into the crowd and saw a guy with a video camera recording the proceedings.

well, sheesh, except for the badly trimmed beard and the flyaway hair, i didn't look ridiculous all day. the configuration of the bima may have caused me to stand as i did.

but the permanent record of the event will show me to be an aesthetic goofball.

god, it used to be you could win with personality, transcending superficial insufficiencies. but now you're being recorded all the time, everywhere you go and these recordings will define you in people's memories and for all time.

but they lie.

see, when your personality more than compensates for being overweight or underdressed (or whatever), that's the real you winning (except if you're a master manipulator). but video only shows what it shows.

it's two-dimensional; it shows the outside. (plus it adds fifteen pounds.)

for instance, i once did a one-man show that was acclaimed by all, but the tape didn't record the greatness -- it evened everything out.

the best stuff seemed not as strong; the worst, not as weak.

it didn't accurately show what i did

if it weren't for one of my frequent storage tragedies, that tape might still be around to lie about me.