Andrew J. Lederer

a comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny.

i've always felt that was bullshit.

yes, there are people who are more about material and others primarily about manner but comedian and comic are more or less interchangeable; they refer to performers who specialize in making people laugh. as for me, i'm clever, but my priority is being in the funny place. so, when i haven't performed for a while, i get insecure and begin to doubt myself.

unfortunately, new york, as i've written before, is divided into a cliquish (and impressive) alternative scene and a more mainstream scene, which is mostly repulsive.

at present, i am in neither.

sure, they can be penetrated, but it takes a full-time commitment, which i haven't had the time or inclination to muster and, as a result, my recent appearances have been rare.

that's why it came as a bit of surprise to me over the last couple days to find out that i'm really funny.

on the line, waiting a full day (and then some) for iphones, we were mauled by cameras and barraged by interview requests. it made you understand how miserable it can be to be lindsay lohan or paris hilton or any of those who are constantly harassed by media. by the end of the thing we just didn't want to talk to anybody anymore.

but for a while, the attention was fun and i had these people in stitches; they couldn't contain themselves.

the mtv news guys were actually falling over themselves during a lengthy session with me, which may air on monday.

and i was making my line-mates -- strangers all -- laugh for the better part of 24 hours -- teens, oldsters, regular folk, oddballs, blacks, whites . . . it was like being reintroduced to a long-lost me

it felt good.

it made me mad at people for holding me back.

i can't wait for edinburgh.

i did another electra elf this week? i thought i was very good (which means i probably was awful).

i utilized some insight derived from watching previous episodes, which, in a way, wasn't good because i saw a couple of the episodes after sucking in ambient pot smoke, so the insights may have been illegitimately gained through the offices of illicit drugs.

on the other hand, technically speaking, i didn't do anything i hadn't done before.

still, my thoughts were different, since i was remembering having seen myself do these things rather than being completely in the moment or strictly intuitive.

i wonder if that will make the result somehow different. (it'll be interesting to see.)

oh, yeah -- and i shaved off my beard for the shoot.

i'm just me again.