Andrew J. Lederer

hours on the iphone line last week, there was one thing i told my line-neighbor i wanted and it wasn't the iphone.

what is was was, well . . .

i was kinda hoping i wouldn't be seen by anyone i know.

now, i'm not talking about people who already knew i was in line -- i was delighted when a friend drove by in a cab around 4:30 am and handed me a burger through his window. i'm talking about people who might think less of me (yes, even less) or mock me for my actions. (maybe even behind my back.)

i feared it would make me look bad to be out there all night, sleeping in the street. and what i thought would come off worst was that i was being paid to wait.

what a needy guy way to make a buck.

so, of course, after a night and many hours had passed -- the sun and time baking me into a potentially unappealing creation -- writer and comic todd levin, a basically nice guy who, i believe, already saw me through a veil of pity, came strolling by and stopped to say "hi".

he was on a break from a temp job -- a normal guy's way to make money -- and it was all i could do to act like i was cool; like my life and adventures were okay,

but you know what? i think i succeeded.

a little.

then -- damn it -- british comic and television host simon amstell came strolling by. what was he doing in the states?

i got that neck compression/rigidity thing that defines me when insecurity takes my helm and suspected he was assessing me badly when -- after our brief, perhaps uncomfortable, interaction -- he continued down the way, saying god-knows-what about me to his pal.

now, i gotta be extra comfortable around him in edinburgh to make him see me the right way.

but, you know, the kicker is, the line was fun. it wasn't onerous at all. i probably had a better time during those hours than anybody in the "normal" world of visiting tv presenters and struggling writers who take temp jobs to make ends meet.

if only they would know that.