Andrew J. Lederer

my sisters and me stop looking at our mexican comic books when we crossed the border from mexico into the u.s., so the border guards wouldn't think we were mexican kids trying to illegally enter the country.

and they were terrified i'd make a joke/say the wrong thing.

they knew me well.

these are things i told the customs guy the other day when returning to the u.s. from canada:

that i was from "los estados unidos". (he made me restate this several times until i finally satisfied him by saying it in english. but even then, i only said the "states united".)

that i lived in "hymietown".

and when he asked me if i had anything to declare, i said something like, "i declare i love u.s. customs officers because they look after us and protect us." (i think he liked that.)

you used to be able to zip across the border but not anymore.

our bus sat waiting for two hours at the border station before we even went inside. (though, once in, i got through immediately despite my flippant?/silly?/funny? attitude. it seems my parents' pre-terrorism paranoia was unfounded.)

if they're gonna treat every single person as a potential terrorist, they should at least have the personnel to do it expeditiously. delaying people for two hours is an insult.

the canadian border station (in and out in half an hour) at least had snacks.