Andrew J. Lederer

unattended bags. you're supposed to report them 'cause they could contain a bomb.

so, this afternoon, in the subway under edgware road between marble arch and bayswater road, there was -- an unattended bag.

it was one of those laundry carrying bags you see around here and it looked benign enough, but who knows what was under the stuff on top and anyway, i don't wanna be responsible for the deaths of innocent citizens, so i figured i oughta call the police.

but was it really an emergency?

i wasn't sure what with all those people walking by and also maybe saying something (though they probably didn't) and i didn't know a non-emergency number, so i decided i'd tell the first officer i saw on oxford street as i walked toward oxford circus.

unfortunately, i didn't notice a single officer along the way.

not one.

on the busiest shopping street in the center of one of the biggest cities in the world with people from pretty much every nation crowded together on the sidewalk, there was not even a token police presence to intimidate, for example, pickpockets or other "petty" thieves.

now, i don't know if i've mentioned it to you (except constantly over the last couple weeks), but i was recently a victim of "petty" crime and it seems clear to me that there is no will to stop it in this city. i had to make my crime report in ladbroke grove, near where i'm staying, because there's no police station in or near camden town -- a hotbed of criminal activity.

this is crazy.

it ain't the artful dodger out there folks -- no musical numbers, just a disrespect for others' rights and property.

they're not fuckin' "the man", they're fucking you. (well, me, anyway.)

in the sometimes crazy political point of view that prevails in this country, it probably seems less fascistic, less american to have cameras everywhere instead of having uniformed personnel roaming the streets.

but you know what? there were cameras in the pub where my computer was stolen and it didn't change a thing.

however, if a man had been watching the area, the robber might have thought twice. (consequence has a human face.)

all i'm saying is if a bunch of people get blown up near oxford street today, it wasn't my fault. it's because you guys can't get beyond your dickensian indulgence of criminals and your self-defeating reluctance to appropriately use authority.

did i tell you the officer on duty when i made my report told me he felt safer in new york than in some parts of london? (this was a london cop.)

be careful out there.