Andrew J. Lederer

Need to bring my daily spending average down, so have to figure out a way to spend no money today.

And the best way not to spend is by staying in.

But staying in means I'll have to breathe in clouds of ambient pot smoke.

And research has taught me that passive exposure not only has real impact but can be detected in the urine for quite some time. So, believing my creativity must come from my native state, I've decided I should not write until 8 hours after significant exposure to THC. That means in order to save money by staying in, I cannot write today.

However, a comedy friend has offered me cash for jokes and that means I should write today.

But in order to get the 8 clean hours required by my exacting standards of creative legitimacy, I must leave the house and would likely be spending money -- at an internet cafe, for instance -- in order to make money.

I guess it's a wash.

(By the way, I don't have 8 hours clean, so ignore this post.)