Andrew J. Lederer

I'm being made roast chicken, potatoes and vegetables today by a lovely woman who's expecting me at some point this afternoon. A few minutes ago, I realized I did not have any clean clothes.

So, I put stuff in the washer with no detergent save the residue that lurks in the machine. I then ran the hot cycle for around ten minutes.

Now, I'm loosening the dirt and hastening he drying process -- simultaneously -- by subjecting the items to a furious 12-minute spin.

I'll dry for 45 minutes, then be off, fresh as a not-too-wilted daisy.

Nothing can possibly go wrong!