Andrew J. Lederer

Post details: Proof That the Next Generation Will Be No Better Than Those Which Preceded Them

03/18/08

Proof That the Next Generation Will Be No Better Than Those Which Preceded Them

07:49:03 pm, Categories: News

I am once again reporting from deep within the bowels of the Tea Lounge in Park Slope. (Comedian Eugene Mirman is working with an not-too-slender, balding, gray-haired guy at a table not far from me.)

Two mothers with babies were near me a short while ago. Actually, they may have been the third mother/baby shift in that couch position since my arrival.

Verbatim (or very close) quotes:

Mother #1:
"I've lived here for ten years and I never realized it would be good for children."
(Those of you who know Park Slope understand why this is the height of obliviousness.)

Mother #2:
"I haven't eaten red meat in 15 years, so if I ate it, I would get sick."
(Of course! What could be more unnatural to a human body than red meat? It's one of those things you have to train yourself to tolerate, like tobacco smoke. Once your body returns to normal, it will be incapable of processing this deadly, alien matter.)

Permalink • 2 comments

Comments:

Comment from: David [Visitor]

In terms of mother#2 if she did mean she thought abstinence had rendered her intolerant to red meat that’s clearly a red herring...

She may have some short term gastro-intestinal problems by introducing unfamiliar digestive bacteria into her system with the meat, but that should subside once the bacteria got settled into her small and large intestine.

Permalink 03/18/08 @ 23:18

Comment from: waffle house gang member #3 [Visitor]

"(Of course! What could be more unnatural to a human body than red meat? It's one of those things you have to train yourself to tolerate, like tobacco smoke. Once your body returns to normal, it will be incapable of processing this deadly, alien matter.)"

Hahahaha... Hilarious and well put.

Permalink 03/20/08 @ 02:44