Andrew J. Lederer

How does one keep from bring a bad person? In effect, if not in intent?

How do you reconcile your own needs with the needs of others? When are others needs more important than your own?

Who decides this?

How much can you bend to to others' determinations without betraying the lesser-known but very important commandment (or strong suggestion), "Don't be a schmuck"?

And if you live in a world where assumptions seem against you in the first place, is there any way you can win?

Assert your own prerogatives and people will see you as wrong. Yield to others' perceptions and you throw away that small, undeniable bit of you.

And when you do that -- or when I do that -- the "others" don't seem to care that much anyway.

Except perhaps to feel a kind of victory.

And, if possible, even more right.

The kind of thing you might use to rip open a deer.

So, don't judge me.

have all been "talked" out and I will not wallow in them today. Instead, here's a thing that's been kicking around my brain for a bit. (I wonder if it has resonance for anyone else.)

I've recently had reason to reflect upon the time a woman with whom I had a complicated relationship was -- in the grip of certain psychiatric issues -- brandishing a large, extremely lengthy knife at me, menacingly. Ultimately, I found myself hurling her across the room to ensure my safety, even my continued survival

I knew she had serious back problems but I guess it had to be done. However, under the circumstances, I have to admit that I enjoyed it a little.

Anyway, I have, if not physically, of course, been on the other end of the hurl.

And I have to wonder . . .

Just how much pleasure is being felt by the hurler?