Last night, something which sums up how my life works happened. I was in my room in my flat, I'd lit some candles, made some mint tea and put on one of my positive thinking relaxation CDs, put some oil in my oil burner and was letting the fruits of the forest smell waft through the room as I tried to calm down and get in the mood for meditation.

One of the candles went out, so I went over to re-light it whilst I was stood there trying to light it there was a loud bang as the glass top to the oil burner exploded showering the room with broken glass and boiling oil, whilst I had a panic attack.

Over the weekend I got to see my two Nephews, they're great and I love them, they've both got Aspergers Syndrome, which is like a mild form of autism, all through my family tree there's people who've been hit with various force by the autism stick, so it's no real surprise. They've both been expelled from Nursery recently so my mum and dad are looking after them a fair bit, and it was whilst they were that one of them got into a little exchange with another child that made me laugh a fair bit. Now I normally hate those "Children say the funniest things" type columns you get in tabloid papers and magazines like take a Break, because to be fair, children rarely say the funniest things. They take things literally, or tell people what you've been saying about them behind their back, usually; ironically, that you think that they're two-faced. So this may be one of those moments where it was only funny in the moment, but the conversation went like this.

Kid: "Who are you?"
My Nephew: "Felix. Who are you?"
Kid: "Madison."
My Nephew: "Who am I?"

It was the Manchester Gong on Sunday, which I've started to actually enjoy, I don't need to go along to this anymore, but I like doing it, I've never lasted the full five and at the moment I've got some stuff that I want to test out infront of a hostile audience. Sunday was going well, right up until I told them I was going to do a Joke that had someone walk out at a gig I did in Birmingham last year, I asked if they were up for it and they said yes, so I did it, and instantly all three cards went up. I don't do that joke very often, but I really like it, and contrary to stereotype it's the only period joke that I've got in my set.
So Monday came around again and I needed to get my Car MOTed so I could get it taxed and whilst I was waiting, I got a call from a journalist on the Local news paper, the Lancashire Evening Post asking for an interview over the phone because they wanted to run a story about me winning my heat of the Chortle Student Comedian Competition.

Of all the things that I've done so far in comedy this is the one that seems to be gaining the most interest. It's one of those things when you start out you know you want to be the best you can, or at least I do, and I kept doing that thing of how soon I'd be the most successful comic in [insert place name here] Now I was brought up in a small village in between two towns so I've got a couple of choices.

I wanted to be the Most Successful Comic in Chorley, where I went to school, but Dave Spikey's from there, so I'd have to wait a good long while, and then I thought, Preston, it's where I was born and where most of my friends are and where I hung out for most of the last 6 years, but ahead of me I've already got Dan Nightingale, John Thompson and John Inman. Even in my own village with a population of under 200 there's Steve Royle who's a great comic in his own right and part of Slaughterhouse Live. So I've put off local domination for now.

Then today the story about me was supposed to appear in the paper, I thought, "Great my chance to have the top rated comedy story in the paper!" It just so happened that my story was in the paper on the day John Inman died.

Always pushed out of the spotlight!

I know that that sounds terribly self centred, and it is, sure it's a tragedy that we've lost one of the first high profile gay actors on television, and I do feel that, but at the same time as I never knew him, and wasn't related to him I find it difficult to find that attachment.

I'm the same with lots of other things, as I've mentioned earlier all through the family we've got a few autistic traits, and I'm no different, I do have great difficulty making emotional attachments to people I've never met. I also don't understand how other people do manage to do that, as I managed to prove disasterously last year at a gig when I was trying out some material I thought was great about not making that connection and not understanding the massive national outpouring of grief when children are kidnapped or murdered. If they're not related to me or my everyday life I really can't manage to care.

This is part of the reason I don't do observational comedy. I was greated at first with silence, then shocked looks, then anger. It's the same when people try to show me photographs. I honestly just don't care, I don't want to see your photos, especially if it's of a holiday or a party when I wasn't there. They just upset me, that you were having fun and I wasn't involved.

I was thinking about some of this on Tuesday watching Paul Sinha at XS Malarkey, he was doing new material for his next edinburgh show and some of it made me think of these particular character traits. It looks from what he's doing that his Edinburgh show will be excellent and well worth checking out. After the Gig, After He, Vince Atta, Connor McGinley and John Cooper had great gigs, I was chatting to him and sorted out that I'll be flyering for him again this year, so that's my Money sorted out for whilst I'm up there.

Though I'm still looking for ways to fund it. I'll still be taking just my car and £20 in cash up there with me and seeing what else I can blag whilst I'm there.

After this I headed up to Poptastic in town, a bunch of us had decided to head on there after XS, On the way in I bumped into Miss Kitty Lashes, one of my altime favourite Drag Acts, I spent about two hours talking to him one evening and he never remembers that he met me. this was no different, only rather than being dressed as Marilyn, he was dressed as Liza Minelli. I got talking to Jonathan Mayor whilst I was in there as we wandered inbetween the rooms looking for Girls and Boys as was our want, and it became increasingly difficult to tell as the night went on who were lesbians and who were just badly dressed college girls.

As it happened Jonathan had a fool proof way of figuring it out: "Long hair and self harm scars, straight girls touristing, Short spikey hair where the time and money spent far outweigh the end result: Lesbanim."

I still didn't find anyone, neither of us did but it was a great night, even though we were the last two comics standing as one by one they disappeared.

My favourite moment of the night was watching Andy Watson dancing like a mental to Electric Six's "Gay Bar" and getting tangled up in some straight bloke who was trying to walk past, Andy incorporated this into the dance and ended up grinding up against him, as the guy tried to de tangle himself he had a look on his face like "Right I'm going to punch him for that... Oh... Wait... it's a gay bar, they're allowed to flirt." and then wandrered off looking confused. Andy's not gay by the way, he is however a crazy dancer!

In the end it was a good day, except the point when I'd spent 6 hours working and then got a call from Scott Capuro, I'm supposed to be driving him this weekend and this was the first time I'd spoken to him outside of a couple of times at The Stand last August. Anyway because I'd been sat working at my computer and not talking my social skills had dropped to zero, and whilst he was lovely and erudite I came across as a surly teenager. Hopefully ovewr the weekend I'll be able to make amends.

Anyway must rush, It's the LGBT Night out tonight and for the first time I've got a Thursday free, so I'm making food and then heading off to Crewe's Premier Gay Bar, The Park. I'm actually wanting to get into the swing of student life again.

Things are looking up.

I love you all with all my heart.

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