Oddly enough when I look at the refering searches to see what is the most common thing put into google to find my blog it's this question "Is Matt Kirshen Gay?" To save any further confusion, no he's not, he does things with ladies, though I'd rather not think about that.

Well yesterday I kept drifting in and out of being able to do anything, I think after a full week here I finally hit the wall and couldn't carry on, though my cold's getting better, I met up with Jonathan Mayor and Ross (whose surname I can't remember, but I've gigged with him.) and his wife and we went for a drink, apparently Ross had been got by evangelical Christians earlier in the day who'd taken it upon themselves to give him an hour long lecture about the evils of homosexuality. It always strikes me that these people obsess about it, they just seem so caught up on it, like it's never far away from their mind. What's strange is that my straight friends who are comfortable with their sexuality never really even consider thinking about their sexuality, it's just there and happens, and they certainly don't think too much about homosexuality. My gay friends talk about it a fair bit. Well the ones who are out and ok with who they are do, those who are out and don't like the fact that they're gay and so surround themselves with straight friends (except for their partner) talk about how much they hate talking about being gay and that it doesn't matter. In fact the only people I know who talk constantly about homosexuality being wrong and displaying a high level of homophobia are gay people who've not come out yet, Evangelical Christians and big groups of blokey blokes. Maybe there's a correlation there?

right well I don't know what that was about, I just sort of went off on one. I've been here a week now and all the days are starting to blur into one, I left my medication in my car when I first arrived and then forgot it when I went back there to get it the other day, so I've now been without it a week and I realised today how bad an idea that was when I woke up sat on my bed scratching my fresh bed-bug bites and thinking "I hate it here, I've no friends, I can't find anyone to hang out with, I just feel so lonely, none of the people I know are really my friends, and now my phone's died again and my charger's still not turned up, and God I miss Sarah, maybe when I've got my phone charged I should call her, though that means finding out about what her girlfriend's been up to, Maybe I should just go home, I miss mum and dad, I should have spent more time hangingout with them before I came here, they've gone back to France and they're not getting any younger, I'm useless, I'll not bget my passport sorted out in time and I'll never end up going to see them, and then they'll die soon and I'll have not seen them and I don't want that to happen. I love my mum and dad."

Ten seconds of my inner monologue this morning, then I realised I'd not had my medication for a week and I know it's just my brain trying to fuck me up again.

I went to watch Reg D Hunter last night, I loved his show, it was the first one I've seen, I missed last year's Pride and Prejudice and Niggas as it was always sold out and clashed with Matt's show so on my nights off I never got to see it. I really enjoyed it, I can watch Reg talk for hours and hours on end, he's just fascinating, and such a sound guy.

As my phone has died again I couldn't manage to find Jonathan and Ross after the gig, though they said they were going down to Phatcaves later on, so I went to go down there, on the way I bumped into Paul Byrne and Kelly, a promoter from Ireland and we headed up to Brookes bar to wait for Sir Tim and G-Horn, G arrived along with a bunch of the pleasance staff and I headed out onto the patio for a smoke where I saw the guys from God's Pottery who I've not bumped into since last year, they said their show was going well, and that they'd been to see Glenn Wool's show earlier in the evening. I saw that the other night and it was fantastic, about the funniest show I've ever seen, I was in pain from laughing all the way through, and after that watching "Drunk Glenn" at Old Rope was fantastic.

As I was heading back into the bar I bumped into Barry Dodds who was saying he'd had a great gig though everyone else thought theirs had been shite, though he repeated what he'd said a number of times earlier in the week this time it was with a smile on his face "It's alright, I'm going to kill myself in September when the bill comes through."

Phat caves was great, though I only stayed for the first half, Kelly Had to go and get a bus back to the flat she's staying at, where she's charing with a couple who live there who appear to be suffering from empty nest syndrome, as their daughter's gone off travelling and they worry if Kelly's back late.

I saw Gambojarat who blew me away, one of the best things about the festival is that you see stuff you'd normally go "well that's going to be shit, Physical comedy from Japan? nah, load of old fanny, not interested." and then you see it and are just completely taken aback. On the way back in from a Smoke I bumped into Reg who was on his way out and needed to borrow some Rizla's we stopped for a brief chat and he asked if I wanted to head off and join them, but I was still trying to find my friends so I headed into the library bar, I was fully expecting that they'd be there or they wouldn't and I'd head out and meet up with Reg, as I got down stairs I bumped into Paul Foot and Kev from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, I apparrently managed to ruin their "Non-edinburgh conversation" they were having by opening with the two standard opening questions "How'd the show go tonight, and how's you're show going?"

I got chatting to Kev for hours, I've never met him before but we had loads to talk about, over the course of the night people started coming in from Phatcaves and Late and Live, Men with Bananas turned up as did a bunch of people I kind of vaguely recognised I think through Chortle, and the night just continued even though I'd meant to have an early night.

Towards the end of the evening Paul Provenza wandered in looking a little the worse for wear and trying to hold a conversation with him proved difficult, I was going to thank him for some of the stuff that happened last year as he was responsible for me taking a slightly different path that's led to me being happier and in a place where I know what I'm doing.

As a side note, and I should have mentioned this earlier, as it happened when I was sat outside the Udderbelly earlier in the evening, there's a girl who works there with blonde/pink hair who I find really rather attractive, I keep smiling at her every time I see her and she's always smiled back. Seeing her every day cheers me up even though I know that I'm trying to be proactive, I know I won't go over and say hi to her becasue I'm a massive hypocrite.

For the first time this year I'm really missing the booze.

Right that was a bit disjointed but I'll update you with stuff tomorrow, it's the first day of my show tomorrow so any of you who are reading this then please head over to C SoCo on Cowgate at 1:40 for My show, which I should hopefully have managed to get fully booked by then, Let's see if comedians can still be funny when I've had to drag them hung-over out of bed!

Until then I love you all,

BB xXx

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