02/08/07
Self-doubt and Robots -
Categories: Not drinking a lot is now a must. After excess at the Spiegal tent the night before last I got a serious case of the booze blues on the day of our first show. It’s not so much nerves as waves of self-doubt and fear washing over you like nausea. The Spiegal tent was fun and annoying. I got there and it was all loud and fun and busy and I genuinely thought ‘fuck, I’m part of this!’, but then after about the 10th person has swanned past you in a porkpie hat you do start to think ‘jesus, I’m part of this!?’ I did get to speak to Tom Binns for a good while though and he’s a really interesting guy. It’s mad when I meet people who were involved in the comedy that I devoured when I was 12-13. I never saw stand-up as an option until I was 21, but new I had to be involved in comedy, and that was because of Bottom, Lee and Herring and Armando Iannucci et al. So to spend an hour with Glen Ponder’s boyfriend was awesome.
The first wave of fear came when I got up the next day, I suddenly remembered the first time I compered a really big room. It was The Komedia in Brighton, I had no experience of compering a place where you couldn’t see %90 of the audience, and I didn’t realise this was the case until I stepped out there. I was panicking inside, like stepping up to bat for England and realising you’re holding one of those miniature cricket bats. It wasn’t til the second half of the show that I nailed it. And I just got a massive reminder of that feeling of almost choking. This also happened for the first 90 seconds the first time I ever compered The Comedy Box in Bristol. I sounded so nervous that Russell had to leave, he couldn’t bare to see me struggle, it’s a shame really, as soon as he left I found my feet and ripped it, and have been MCing there ever since. The third bad memory was of the first ever gigs I did. I used to do an open mic night every Sunday. One in Bristol, one in Cardiff, and that was all. During the day I would sit and stare at the wall in my flat, leading my flatmate to refer to those days as my ‘lonely Sundays of the soul’.
So what better way to shake off such memories as going to see Transformers. Two hours of cars turning into robots and kicking the shit out of each other. Damn straight Motherfucker! It’s a work of unsurpassed genius and has two hot girls in it. They play the cleverest person and the best mechanic in the film so in many ways Transformers is a Feminist triumph. Carl insisted that we sit right at the front because he is a child. And as the nausea from being to close and eating nachos overcame the nausea from worrying about the show all was well.
We all met at the Nicol Edwards, which is becoming our refuge for the festival. Corrie McGuire was there as well and provided a welcome distraction. Then, backstage in The Cabaret Bar, we all prepared in our own ways. I looked at the posters of Cognito that are back there. He’s been an inspiration and a much-loved confidant over the past two years, and it was nice to see his snarling face staring out at me. I remembered once when we had a falling out due to a mixture of his substance abuse and my tiredness on a drive back from Lincoln, we made up almost instantly and the next day he sent me a text saying “It’s a beautiful day John, good luck with it. Cx”. I think I might have welled up when I read that; he wasn’t saying it would be good, or good things would happen, but that each day has a potential to be good, and that’s what I thought of as I stepped onstage for the first gig of The Comedy Zone.
The gig was a belter. Off the top the crowd were so up for it I was taken aback. They were a joy to play around with and I knew from the first cheer that everyone was going to be fine and really looked forward to seeing all the guys do well. Barry, Joe and Carl all ripped it. Relief! And I can't wait to do a set there now. The crowd was swelled by various Avalon and Pleasance staff, which was so nice. Though it means tomorrow will be a definite reality check in terms of numbers it really made us feel like people wanted us to do well and were looking out for us. Other acts came to see it, Simon Brodkin, Rhod Glibert and Russell Kane. Which for me made it feel like the bit in Harry Potter when they all get chosen for Griffyndor and everyone’s really pleased for them. That and the bottle of Champagne we were each handed made it a really special night, so thanks to everyone else for that.
And so to the Dome for a drink with Jon Richardson, Sinha, Alex Horne and Rob Deering. If you can name four nicer people to spend your time with then I want to know.
more soon
jx
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