21/08/07
Not a lot -
Categories: Last night i got a taxi to the Pleasance and my taxi driver was quite gruff. I always try to break their hard manner with a tip and a 'have a good night' farewell. Having tipped this particular guy i accidentally said "night night' as i got out. As i closed the door i felt like i was tucking him into bed. Despair.
I think the gap since my last blog bears out my theory that the festival is about a week too long. I've spoken to quite a lot of people about this and most seem to agree. It's not that i don't want to do as many shows as possible and spend loads of time here, but there is a big gulf between the initial excitement of getting your bearings and exploring and the 'one week to go' final push.
The Zone has been ticking along, we've only had two shockers, both on Thursdays. I'm very reluctant to blame audiences for bad nights. %99 of the time, if someone blames an audience for a bad gig you can find little things they've done that have caused it: slagging off the local area, complaining about low numbers, letting on that they're annoyed with a lack of energy etc. But i have to say, if you ask a Zoological student what their favourite animal is, they answer "the Thunderbird" and the audience don't even titter you have to wonder if they're made of stone.
Last night was one of the few Zones where it's been a true compere's gig. The guys all did well but infront of 38 people in a room that seats 175 it's always going to favour Charlie Chatface rather than Martin Material. I got some guy onstage to act out a play with props that Barry and Carl could find backstage. It turned into the story of a man who didn't know his lover is a bum doctor. He goes for a check-up only to find his partner Giles holding a hosepipe and funnel and a 'caution - wet floor' sign. Genius.
Other than that I've compered Spank a few times; lovely gig. Went to see the Picasso exhibition (waste of money) and the Bourne Ultimatum (weakest of the three films). Pappy's Fun Club made me love life and remember what comedy should be about (making people laugh and dicking around)
I'm now caught in a circular argument in my head about whether to do an hour next year. I think it's increasingly hard to wait in stand up, more difficult to focus on the long term. Part of me wants to do it just to wipe my slate of material clean and get used to writing a show a year, but that's maybe overly ambitious. Who knows?
j
p.s
To the 'people' doing the 12 hour "contact improvisation" performance art piece in the shop window next door to the FestFM studio, i would like to say, on behalf of everyone who saw it "Fuck Off!"
You are without doubt the most pretentious, deluded people on the face of this years festival, and that's up against some fucking stiff opposition. I know life is hard as a middle-aged divorcee but a broken home is no excuse to believe that rolling around on the floor in jogging bottoms is some kind of valid form of expression. Employing a media-studies student to film the entire thing does not justify your eye-gougingly pointless existence. How can you be so vomitously earnest in the face of overwhelming evidence that 'contact improvisation' is, in fact, merely a misspelling of 'look at us, our personalities are made of toilets'? Twelve hours!? TWELVE FUCKING HOURS. You should get the if.commedies panel prize for having the gall not to take your own lives. Seriously, i'd rather suck a dead tramps eyeball than see that shit again. How on earth can you do that for 12 hours without for a moment thinking to yourself "hang on...wait a minute...Oh yes, I'm a total cunt!"? I know deep down there is a nagging feeling you can't quite put your finger on, it's been bugging you for years but you can't get to the bottom of it. Well it took me exactly four seconds to recognise that feeling as being one of total and utter self loathing for carrying on with the charade that you are not a total and utter quim-rag-mouthed charlatan. You know those men who pretend to be gas inspectors and rob pensioners of their life savings? THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH PEOPLE'S TIME
If i found out you got a lottery grant for that colostomy bag of a show I'm moving to Darfur.
that is all.
Comments:
Hope you are keeping away from that big scary fan in the Cabaret Bar.!
Loved your set at the Comedy Zone & glad to hear you are thinking about doing Edinburgh next year!
Hope you enjoy your final few days.
Kel x
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23/08/07 @ 02:40 A lovely man who is also a black belt in bitter monologues.
If only I had the vocabulary.
Looking right the way in front forwards style to the 'All New Jon Robins' Henman's Chicking'.
You slender funby.
Tooty!
x
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25/08/07 @ 14:24 
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