24/08/07
Fannies and Shame -
Categories: The trend for freaky Thursday audiences carried on last night. It's like they've all been given bad news just before the gig and only come in because it's what their recently deceased friend 'would have wanted'. The first bloke i chat to in the crowd won't tell me his name because he "came to listen, not to talk thank you very much". What an utter joyless cunt. i did what any compere should do in that situation and immediately sacked the front row, replacing them with more giddy people from the row behind. Hurrah!
Richardson got nominated, genius. I've discovered there's no better feeling than genuine one hundred percent pride on someone else's behalf. It's a lovely warm feeling with the merest hint of happy tears and topped off with a Cheshire-cat smile. Good for him. If he and Pappy's won the awards it would be a huge score for joy and hard work. I'm in a good mood.
Last few nights me and Team Zone have been to a few sexy parties. On Weds the PBJ/Mick Perrin one and last night the SYTYF one. The former reeked of fannies and shame but the alcohol was free. The latter was full of youthful souls, wide-eyed and drunk on wonder...and free alcohol. I left both relatively early, parties where I don't know anyone and, more depressingly, no-one knows me, give me the blues. However, I did find fun in doing Joe and Barry's material whilst under the effects of helium from the PBJ balloons, that was a high point. It's nice to do all these things this year, so when i bring up my own show I'll know I'm not missing much, just the sight of comics trying to get off with teenage girls and the vague feeling of disappointment and dread. Who knew?!
I have also had a cold the last few days. I never really get ill, but a wantonly huge dose of vitamin C usually sorts the whole thing out. It's the microphones fault. You couldn't design a better way of spreading a virus. Having just finished series five of 24 I'm guessing the only terrorist threat they haven't covered is microphone infection. I'll look forward to that in season 6. I did a WMD awareness gig and said i wouldn't be willing to eradicate all weapons of mass destruction as it would leave Jack Bauer with nothing to do, and therefore render my life meaningless. I also shouted at a man in the audience for saying the best way to stop the trade in arms is to stop paying taxes. What a jackass. How can you call yourself left-wing and yet sanction not contributing to the welfare state, a truly incredible institution that protects the most vulnerable people in our society. He claimed that the NHS was loosing money. I pointed out that that is exactly what makes the welfare state so incredible; it's a managerial nightmare, it will always haemorrage money, it is totally unworkable, and yet wholly necessary. At this point in the gig i got my first ever 'right-on' round of applause. I'm not edgy or topical ever, but it felt good to do the finger-licking one nil sign in the air to rapturous applause. Maybe i should memorise some George Bush quotes, he's quite the dunce i hear.
Anyhow, look at me rambling like i've got nothing better to do...
oh...hang on...oh dear...
did i mention i finished watching 24? Despair.
j
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