Hello!

Last thursday it was Catface Comedy which was lots of fun although the audience were especially rowdy to the degree that they were getting on my wick. Basically it was drunk men doing shouting of random words and then chortling at their own ramblings. When asked to be quiet they oafed around some more. Even when acts went on and kept slamming them down much to the amusement of the rest of the crowd they still continued to blurt out random words. The thing is they weren't trying to be nasty, they genuinely felt they were contributing to the night. Bless.

Other than that ALL acts did very well and we had a good time.

When I got home from work on Friday, Peter, my other fishy was deaded. Ah well back to the drawing board. I'm going to get some normal gold fish cause they're apparently harder than wimpish fantails.

The weekend was cool, saturday I went to a launch party at the bar on my housing complex BY MYSELF. I just thought FUCK IT. I'm going alone! When I entered the party I saw a table of people that I recognised from the local shop and I just went and sat with them. "HI!" I shouted. "Er hi...." They all replied happily. We soon became best mates and I chatted to lots of handsome men who were all having none of it. One drink turned into several and all of a sudden it was 11:30pm and I was staggering back to my flat with my glass of wine.

The next morning I had to be up early to get to Victoria for the dry run of my radio show. I took 2 cds cause I thought I wouldn't have to do the whole show but it turned out I did. So I absolutely RINSED my 80's complilation. Glad no one was listening cause it sucked. But this Sunday is the REAL THING with myself presenting my regular show 10:00am to 12pm. You can listen to this at www.sw1radio.co.uk SO!! Get involved. Hangover radio, it really is the new Hollyoaks. Um.

Right and what else? Oh yes then I went to Macdonalds ON MY OWN. I'm loving this alone stuff.

Then this week I've been at work and have been asked to be THE VOICE at the TMF Flanders Awards in Antwerp. You know the lady that says at the concert "Coming up next, blah blah blah". How cool is that? I know. All those FANS listening to MY VOICE. Yay.

Next Saturday is my 30th birthday party. How depressing. Well not depressing but you know what I mean. I'm trying to be one of those fabulous ladies that don't care about being 30 and with a toss of their hair and a slick of lip gloss head outta the door. I just can't do that cause I wear matte lipstick and my hair isn't tossy...... but yeah the party is going to be ACE. Then I really will be 30. BAH.

Right better get on, off down the gym but lord knows why cause it does fuck all.

Much love.

So! I'm back from good old Edinburgh and I have to say it was much fun indeed. As I mentioned in a previous bloggy, I wouldn't be gigging this time round - But that all changed on my arrival cause Caroline asked me to compere her show GCSE revision class, starring Caroline Mabey, Miriam Elia and Sean Walsh. The show's nothing to do with GCSE revision class, tiz but a ploy to pull in the audience but I still played the old school favourite "Nervous" with one lucky audience member. Very good fun this show - would recommend - on at the White Horse on the Royal Mile.

Katie and I did our best not to drink loads so that we'd last for an evening of craziness but it was tough. Later on, in Brookes bar (which is a bar in The Pleasance Dome which looks like a youth club) we saw the legend Jim Bowen. I instantly texted my parents and they replied simply with "Super Smashing Great" followed closely by a text saying "That was one of his sayings". Ah they're sweet.

Sometimes in Brookes bar you get major RADA's, and this particular night was no different. There stood a group of fresh faced Americans and they started beat boxing and singing loudly in the BAR. I cringed severely. When I looked at Jim Bowen he was rubbing his forehead as if he had a migraine or something. I took this as my cue for us to bond. "Hi Jim, aren't they vile!" he agreed and said "Ya know they all wanna just be stars" and we laughed knowingly together like celebrity friends do.

Later on we went to the Gilded Balloon with Caroline to watch a late night show in the downstairs nightclub (where the days of Phat Cave were). On the bill was Andrew Maxwell, Caroline as Helen Heels, Paul Foot and these singy people. Andrew Maxwell was exceptionally good dealing with some scary Norther Irish hecklers. We could barely understand the argument - but it was one that bordered on uncomfortable. Ultimately though Andrew slammed them and won. The singers were great, just can't remember them. The only problem with this show is it went on too long - and by the time Paul Foot came on we'd all sat there without a break for about 1hour 15 mins. I was DRUNK.

After the show finished we decided to call it a night - which I found a bit strange cause it was only 2:30am and that's pretty early. Oh well - meant that we got up at about 11am the next day and thus didn't waste the short time we had there.

We spent most of Friday at the Pleasance, cause most of the shows we would see were on there. Plus beer was there too. First show we saw were Adams and Rea which was ace, they are both extremely funny AND musical. Go see. Then we saw Pappy's Fun Club, which again was excellent. I did prefer last year's show cause of the audience participation but this show "Funergy" was still to an exceptionally high standard. This is the third year I've seen Pappy's at Edinburgh and each time I have a great laugh. Lovely lads.

And then I saw MIKE. Mike from Hollyoaks. AGAIN! Like last year! There he was, at the pleasance wondering about like he wasn't even famous. Like he wasn't even a DILF. My insides went all wrong when I saw him.... Mmmmm Mike.

Katie and I bumped then into my friend Gareth Kane who's in an improv group and whom I met a few years ago. So we sat with him and his mate (Dan) for a few hours drinking and being silly. Then it was time for "The Clock Hour" starring Michael Legge and team Margaret Caborn Smith (who's excellent) and a load others (from real Daniel o Donnell show) My friend Muki is producing this so it was fun to see her too. This show is mental. Mental fun that is. I laughed and laughed. Seriously, go see. On at the below at the Pleasance 11pm.

After this we headed to Gilded Balloon and Loft bar which is just as pretentious as it always was. Great days. Bed time now I think.

Saturday we went to Miriam Elia's birthday lunch a nice little seafood restaurant off the Royal Mile. Many were there who I hadn't met before and I sat next to Thom Tuck and Pat Burtscher who were excellent company. Fishy was nicey too. Saw Lou Sanders who was on excellent form also.

On the Royal Mile we bumped into Chris Martin and Benny Boot who were doing a show on the free fringe. He was on my list to see so off we went. Mark Talbot was MCing and I have to say he was AMAZING. So so funny - so so random. Loved him, loved him (but he didn't love me back) Also on the bill was Gareth Richards who I'd never seen before and was GREAT. He reminded me of one of Marc Wootton's characters in the way he spoke. Joey Page was also on as well - again I'd never seen him and have booked him for Catface Comedy in December.

Randomly we decided to PAY to go to a show called 10 years from now starring Andrew Bird. This man I've never seen and what a likable chap! Its a good show - nice and stable and consistent. Funny - again at the Pleasance.

After this we decided to go to a Butlins style bar so headed to Brookes. We nearly didn't get in cause you need a PASS. Luckily I emanate success from every pore so I strode right in. I said Katie was my PA. Not really. Anyway, we drank some wine and then I saw many I knew. Corry Shaw was there and Michael Fabbri (her beau) had seen me MC at the GCSE revision Class show and he said I was filthy. Excellent.

After this there was a FIGHT. Twix an act and a reviewer. Basically it consisted of the professional artiste' screaming "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" and the reviewer/critic did quiet talking trying to simmer the situation down. Then the artiste' pushed the crtic over on a sofa and the critic did kicking the artiste' with his legs. Sorry but it was funny.

Katie wanted to go back to the B&B at this point so I sat around chatting to Muki, Michael Legge (who is just lovely), Johnny Candon and Robin Ince (no less). It was a pleasant close to a cool Edinburgh.

Taking Catface Comedy up there next year.

Sorry this blog reads weird - just wanted to cover everything.

I feel fishy. Oh so fishy. I feel fishy and sunny and gay! And so fishy that I hardly can believe (I'm writing this) I'm real. That's right, you've guessed it, someone's got a fish tank.

I'm gonna get some fantails which are like goldfish but with flappier, nicer tails. 'Parrently the COMMON goldfish don't like fantails cause they're JEALOUS of their lustrous tails. I can't put the fish in for one week cause the water needs to be treated and everything. I am so excited. It was either fish or a wopping great babbit (rabbit) and to be honest I know that'd end up just being all smelly and bitey.

So, I've had quite a nice few days. Firstly let us begin with a Catface Comedy update. Well. It was great. With a pretty much full room of audience, half of which I DID NOT KNOW which is a great sign. All acts did well - special mention goes to young Rachel Anderson from Hartley Poole. Tres bien. Thanks to everyone involved, its a wicked show even if I do say so myself. Loving the dancing and loving my stomach.

Friday night I went out on the razz in Camden with a pal from work. I did my best to convince her to get involved with a bit of Internet dating and I think I succeeded. She seemed up for it - I dunno - I've signed up again cause I'd quite like to meet some new people. Male, obviously. We'll see, I've had a few emails and interest hits, and I think someone from my work has put me in his faves box - either that or his twin works here. How embarrassing if that's the case. Oh well, you gotta be in it to win it.

Saturday I cooked Duck l'orange for my ma and pa for lunch. I got the recipe from this retro website thing and it tasted ACE. I couldn't believe it cause as soon as the L'orange started to cook I was convinced it would be vomitus but before long it'd thickened up and looked all culinary and delightful. You know, I think I may have a knack for this cooking lark. After which I made my mum and dad take to Pets at Home where in we got the fishy tank. God sometimes I am such a baby. I'm nearly thirty and was saying stuff like, "Noooo, I don't want that one. Its crap! I wanna buy the fish NOW!" etc etc. They were like "The man says no Leanne, you have to do what they say, you don't want the fish to die do you?"

"Yes.." I replied sulkily.

So! Then I did cleaning of my whole house and chucking out three black sacks of crapola making way for my new bedroom look which is coming soooooon! What a satisfying weekend.

In Facebook news I have got back in touch with my first ever boyfriend. I met him when I was 7 years old and we didn't actually go anywhere but I think we held hands and I loved him a bit. I befriended him on Facebook after being encouraged to from the "People I may know" section. He's married with kids. "Surprise Surprise! The unexpected hits you between the Eyes." etc etc. Whatever.

I've started doing singing lessons at MTV. Lots of breathing exercises and harmonies. Today we did Penny Lane by "The Beatles" and I discovered myself struggling with the verse. Why don't I know it proper? Its a classic. I felt a dimwit.

Thursday I travel to Edinburgh where in I plan to laugh and relax muchly. I'm hoping that the rain has started to cease for lots of my pals up there have complained of trench foot. God I remember it rained all of ONE day last year at Edinburgh and I had the nerve to do crying because of it. It kept making all my flyers soggy so I couldn't hand 'em out. You know when you're so wet you just think FUCK IT. Well that was that day. Imagine having that up to now? Well luckily that's all I have to do (imagine) as I'm not going up till thursday. Looking forward to it.

Hope I see Mike off Hollyoaks like I did last year. What a DILF.

That's it for now. (BTW I do have a place where I do more regular blogs like... www.leannediggins.blogspot.com if ya can be arsed)

So my favourite man in the entire world (bar Bowie) is in town. That's right, Morton Harket of A-ha fame is here on the mean streets of London. What must he think of all the stabbings? I expect he's outraged.... as am I Morton, as am I. I saw him on Loose Women yesterday and he seemed subdued. I expect that's because theres an inexplicable gaping void in his life. (which is me)

Remember that day Morton? Remember that day when The Sun Always Shines on TV was playing on the radio and I was 6 yrs old and it came on the air waves and I started crying cause I wanted all my family out of the room so I could listen to it alone. And remember that day when I got that T-shirt of A-ha printed up at Butlins and then when my mum washed it, all your faces went wrinkly, even Pal's. Rememeber that day when I got the words to The Sun Always Shines On TV out of "Lookin" mag and I got my dad to photocopy them at his work and I handed them out to all my friends at school? And finally, do you remember that day when I discovered that the WHORE in the Take On Me Video (Bunty her name is) was actually your real life girlfriend. I think you can imagine what my reaction was. (they've split now FYI)

I'm going to Sweden (stockholm) on business in the next couple of weeks so I plan to make some norwegian contacts during my time there. Hopefully this will lead to the marriage of Morton and I. Fingers Crossed.

I'm off to the gym in a minute. I just can't face Ibiza with this much extra flabbage, its just not cricket. Oh if only I was one of those naturally skinny birds who can trough as many burgers as they desire. I desire many you see. I just want to want not to eat. Like one of those girls who say things like "Oops I forgot to eat". See I forget I have eaten and double my portion size consequently. When I split with my ex I was over come with grief so couldn't eat which was GREAT. I lost like a stone, but have since put it pretty much all back on cause all's well in my world.

So I'm thinking colonic irrigation. Me and a mate were talking about this saturday and I'm thinking its the way forward. Then I saw Gina Yashere on Loose Women and she's a shadow of her former self having had this procedure. She looked really slim and she says that there's like 20lbs of waste-age in most people. That would explain it completely with me. I think I would be really embarrassed, not because of the bottom exposure but more cause of the smell. Contrary to popular belief (and I know you all believe this) but my poo poo doesn't smell like roses. Imagine the poor lady doing the sucking. She must have to wear like a gas mask. If anyone reading this blog has any info on this procedure, it would be greatly appreciated.

Right better go and fat about down the gym.

I've become even more obsessed with Alex Wotherspoon of The Apprentice. I've only just caught up with this week's episode and it was the funniest yet.... Although I was sorry to see little Raef go. BOO. Oh Alex, I know I'm five years your senior and a bit on the tubby side, but lets run away and get married, you can start a business and I'll do your typing. I'm really rather good - 60wpm.

I think I must be in season cause last night I had a dream about Sexy Psycho Sean off Eastenders. I know why I dreamt of him, its cause I was watching 'stenders the other day and I was thinking how very lucky Tanya was, cause she's got Sexy Psycho after her AND that nice man from The Bill. I bet Minty's well gutted being lumbered with Hevver. haahaa. Anyway, in my dream Psycho Sean was being all Kill-y. He said he wanted to kill me! I "convinced" him not to. heh heh heh. Good old psycho dreams.

This week's been fun. I went to see a mate in a show which was pretty good. A few years back we'd had a little, ya know.. thing. Anyway I always try to be reserved whenever I see him but as alcohol's usually involved this never normally works. This situation was no different for I distinctly remember towards the end of the evening, casually pointing at him whilst chatting to his mate and declaring knowingly, "He's well good at shagging he is". Great days.

Good news. Catface Comedy (stand-up) show is BACK! Starting 3rd July and it's going to be better than ever. SOOOOOOOOO exciting. It's on at the Slaughtered Lamb in Clerkenwell the first thursday of every month. The room's well nice, really kitsch (hate that word but only adjective for it) and all coool like down with the kids etc. Come along its going to be ACE.

Tonight my friend Okse is coming to stay, we're doing podcast stuff and catching up etc. And tomorrow I have LAVIS FEST in Oxford. Should be much fun. Monday I have drinks in Southbank and then I'm going to go watch the Gong at the Comedy Store cause one of my friend's is in it so want to support. Bank Holiday is always mental there and last time I went I found the audience most unruly.

You have yourselves a good bank holiday ya hear.