Hello!

This is my blog, which is like a diary, but it's spelt "B.L.O.G", not how Diary's spelt, which I don't know. How do you spell diary Big Howard?

BIG HOWARD: "Diary".

Big Howard is typing everything I say, which means there might be some spelling mistakes. It's better than me typing, because when I do it, it doesn't work. I tap the keys and concentrate really hard on the right words coming out. For ages I thought it was working, but I couldn't check, because I can't read. Here's a sample from my last blog:

LITTLE HOWARD'S SELF-TYPED BLOG: ALJFPOIE vkj eoipau lkdkl jakj;lfjepoiua;kjl d fjkai ekjdk aljk; f pekl;ja ipuodkj;l apiu ejfau vkaiopaou 38uq830 f u0iqipoj rl;kj asdkj fui akl;j euia kb kjadopi ureji alkj cjk adj djk aepoiu j ab knl;adl kwqiouqpjokd l;kaj b;j kaiupoeuipqp dkl;aj

BIG HOWARD: It's like that because he's six. He's not retarded.

That post was about when Big Howard wouldn't let me get a kitten. I was quite angry, as you can probably tell.

BIG HOWARD: the blog was very popular with fans of JRR Tolkien, someone translated it. Apparently it was a dialenct of Elvish. When translated Little Howard's Blog was just a diatribe saying that Tom Bomberdill was a bell-end, and he's glad he was cut out of the film version

What's a "Bell-end?"

BIG HOWARD: It's the end of a bell.

Like the knocker?

BIG HOWARD: Yes, but the bell's a boy... erm... tell them about that other blog that someone wrote without asking permission.

Yes. Someone did a blog of me once, without asking our permission and Big Howard said they spelt every single word wrong - how did they do it Big Howard?

BIG HOWARD: It was like "Helo, mi naem iss Litle Hawad. Wellcum too mi blooog" - it's actually really hard to type like that!

Yes, and Big Howard did a joke saying "He's six, he's not Chaucer", which I didn't get.

BIG HOWARD: Trust me, it was both very funny, and very clever

We've tried writing blogs before, but it's really hard working out how to do it, because I'm only six and I can't read or write propperly. This is how we've decided to do it. We'll probably get lots of posts saying how everyone hates us, which would be nice, because that hardly ever happens on Chortle.

We're not at home at the moment, so we can't put up any pictures or films.

The blog will mainly be about our trips to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and the New Zealand International Comedy Festival.

But the next post will be about when we went on This Morning with Fern and Phil this week.

BIG HOWARD: When I can find the right wires to copy a VHS onto YouTube on my mother-in-law's neolithic computer

Did you just do a mother-in-law joke?

BIG HOWARD: More of a "mother-in-law sentance."

Is that what you call it when you have to go and visit?

BIG HOWARD: Now THAT was a mother-in-law joke.

Good.

erm... bye!