10/03/08
The Other Boleynic Woman -
Categories: With a few days away on the road, I've caught up with a few filums and TV shows. Six episodes of Lost season 4 has whetted my appetite for more of that please. And I was intrigued by The Other Boleyn Girl - I quite enjoyed it (but I'm a sucker for a Tudor romp), but I did wonder about the casting. It's the tale of Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn and her sister Mary - all fine English characters from English history. And those parts are bestowed to an Australian (former Incredible Hulk, Eric Bana), and two Americans (Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johannson). I have several problems with this:
- I think they should have, if anything, swapped roles. Portman is too sweet to play conniving Anne, and Johannson would have been much better as Ann rather than the wretched Mary.)
- Could they be sisters? Has there ever been a greater difference in sisters' chest size?
- Now come on. Were there really no British actors who could fill the roles? The British cast (Mark Rylance, Kristin Scott Thomas, Tyres from Spaced...) were great. More of those please? Rather than The Hulk, Queen Amidala and the girl with the pearl earring?
Alright, they're actors. Actors can, mostly, do accents (except for the 'Irish' woman in Heroes 2, who is clearly basing her accent on the leprachaun from the Lucky Charms cereal commercials.) And it happens the other way too. Brit Lena Headey currently stars as Sarah Connor in the TV spin-off of Terminator. Ex-Eastender Michelle Ryan is the new Bionic Woman. So with Portman and Johannson coming over here, and Headey and Ryan going over there, that's quite a carbon footprint the entertainment industry is currently sporting. Save the environment - let Lena and Michelle be the Boleyn girls, put Natalie in the Terminator series and make Scarlett The Bionic Woman. Four return airline tickets spared.
Okay. The Boleyn Girls - I understand that American actors help sell the film to American audiences. Accepted. And Lena Headey does make quite a good Sarah Connor. Accepted. Zoe Slater as The Bionic Woman? That's the one I can't quite see. Which episode of Eastenders did the producers catch on BBC America and think, "Yes - that crying little girl-child with the mockney accent is the perfect mechanised action woman we're looking for..." What next? Jim Branning as The Six Million Dollar Man? Dot Cotton as Wonder Woman? The new version of The Dukes of Hazzard starring Phil Mitchell and Minty?
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