30/04/08
How to break the interweb -
Categories: I'm going away for 5 days, so (a) no blogging, and (b) I was looking at setting up one of those AutoReply OufOfOffice things that posh people with real jobs have every time they go for an extra-long poo or something. You know:
"I'm not at my desk from 12:35pm today. If you need anyone in the mean time, contact Janice my very Personal Assistant, yeah, that's right, I have a Personal Assistant, and she does exactly what I tell her, cos Janice, you're all mine. Mine! Bwahahaha. I'll return at 12:37pm. Oh, and actually don't contact Janice, cos she's probably with me offering me toilet roll."
I've never enabled one of these before, but it's the weekend before the gig I run at The Stoke in Guildford, and normally that's when everyone emails saying they want to reserve tickets. And I don't want them thinking that because I haven't replied, that they'd better make other plans (particularly now that every pub in Guildford has a comedy night now - all vastly inferior of course). So, AutoReply it is.
But then I thought maybe I shouldn't. Whenever I email my mailing-list, I always get a few AutoReplies - some saying the email address has changed, some saying things like the above one (but about holidays, rather than no.2s). So what happens if I send out a reminder to the mailing-list about the comedy night next Wednesday, and then I go away on my long weekend away? My email will generate several AutoReplies from people not in, which will then be sent back to me, which will then fire out my own AutoReply email, which will then generate more AutoReplies from then, which will again generate more AutoReplies from me... This will continue until I have sent or generated several million emails between Thursday and Tuesday, thus breaking the internet. No wonder broadband's so slow.
So I shall not do that. I shall stick to ManualReply. I don't want to have the downfall of the online world on my conscience.
Oh, and...
Yesterday I bought a thing, and asked a man about something.
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