17/09/06
No gig tonight -
Categories: No gig tonight - been watching telly and drinking again. I think I might become an alcoholic for a bit - just to see. Loads of successful comedians have had a drink problem so maybe it helps?
I watched the repeat of yesterday's Tonight with Jonathon Ross. I like Terry Wogan (who was a guest on it), I find him very funny.
Last year I was 'lucky' enough to do some TV warm up work for that Nigella programme that was on in the daytimes. Despite my very best efforts it wasn't re-commissioned. It really wasn't an easy warm-up to do. See, I'm pretty much working class through and through, from a socialist background and I hold many of the principles of socialism close to my heart (but don't ask me to tell you what they are because I've not thought it through to the stage of discussion - let's just say I backed the miners to the point that I still beep my horn when I drive past the gates of the now-demolished Parkside Colliery in Newton-le-Willows because that's where the pickett line was, and when Thatcher dies you'll know about it from the cheers coming from wherever I am). Most of the audience for Nigella weren't really my sort of folk, nor I theirs. Lots of middle aged toffs clutching copies of Nigella Lawson's latest culinary literary masterpiece on the off-chance they got to meet the lady herself and get it signed whilst asking after her father.
I've been asked by people what Nigella was like and, to be fair, I really couldn't tell you, I only did one show as a fill-in - you're probably best off asking Al Pitcher as he did the majority of the show warm-ups - she never spoke to me. She smiled at me, but didn't speak. In all fairness to her, from all accounts she was very nervous about presenting that show and so a bit preoccupied with that. She certainly didn't seem rude, just...well...like I said...nervy.
I was nervy too as it goes, given the amount of sneering I was getting from the afore-mentioned toff brigade as I attempted to warm them up. If I'd had a full bottle of Calor and a flame thrower I'd have still been hard pushed to get them warmed. I'd also felt a bit overlooked by the production crew and people running the thing - to be honest, I felt like I was in the way and I had a nagging suspicion that people were rolling their eyes behind my back after my impertinent questions such as "when do I go on?".
One person however did look out for me; Terry Wogan.
Sir Terry had just been knighted (or it might have just been announced he was going to - not sure) and was the special studio guest on that day's show.
Two words about Terry Wogan -Charm Incarnate.
And about as supportive as anyone could possibly be - he played along with my fucking about, bantered brilliantly with me from the set, 'knighting' me with a rolling pin, and not only did he make a point of introducing himself to me before the recording, he also came and found me after the recording to thank me and wish me well. The only person in the whole building to do that was Sir Terry. None of the gossipy journalist women appearing on the show did it (I don't recall any of their names but you know the ones - they're always on them list shows talking about how brilliant Den and Angie were), nor did any of the production crew. And before you say "Well did you with them?", let me tell you, I did fucking try!
Now - don't be getting me wrong - I am aware that I was nowhere near the most important person in the building - in many ways given the response I was getting out of most of the audience I was possibly the most irrelevant (you'll notice I keep saying 'most' of the audience - there were a fair few fans there to see Mr Wogan, they are called TOG's and they played along wonderfully and were - for want of a better phrase - salt of the Earth). I don't know how much of a hassle it was for Terry Wogan to spend a few minutes being kind to me, but it certainly did the trick in so far as the respect it gleaned from me.
And here's the thing - Terry Wogan was the most successful person in that studio bar none. That's telling isn't it?
A few years back I was researching a biography about Les Dawson (as I promised, I'll tell you ALL about it at some stage on here) and had to do a major mail shot to lots of performers who had worked with Les to see if they would help out with my research. Some of the people included on the list you probably wont remember, and there's no point mentioning them as they either didn't reply or replied rudely. The two quickest and most positive responses came in the form of personal letters from David Jason and John Cleese. By a massive 'coincidence', once again, they were the most successful people (career wise, in both credibility and longevity) out of the hundreds of people I wrote to. That's telling isn't it?
Wherever they played, or whatever film sets they were on, Oliver Hardy used to make a point of getting autographs of all the other performers, often running up theatre stairs and visiting every dressing room in order to complete his task. How much of a buzz must that have been? To be a supporting artist and have Babe Hardy ask you for your autograph? How good would you have felt? How much would it improve your confidence and, as a result, the strength of your performance? How fucking high would be the esteem you would hold Oliver Hardy in after he did that? That's telling isn't it?
I once accosted Melvyn Bragg when, by chance, I bumped into him whilst making a short film doing the character of "Ray Peacock". Top marks to Rob Rouse who was filming it for getting the camera on quick on that occasion - he'd not pressed the right button when I knocked on the window of John Prescott's car that was stuck in traffic outside Westminster and got a v-sign off him. Anyhow, as I say, I accosted Melvyn on the South Bank (could that have been more perfect?) and asked him, in character, if he would consider doing a South Bank Show Special about me. His response could have been anything - he could have smirked and walked off, he could have ignored me completely, but he didn't. He played along telling me that it was something they'd consider and that they'd have to look into it before shouting "Not really!" and running away laughing. Brilliant, and as side note, do you know what really impressed me about the whole experience? He took off his glove before shaking my hand. I thought that was fucking fantastic. I've watched the tape of it loads of times, he does it without even thinking, just polite without a thought. He's been successful for a long time hasn't he Melvyn Bragg? That's telling isn't it?
I know this post seems like I'm just doing loads of name-dropping, but that's clearly not what it is about, I credit you with enough intelligence to get the point I am making. I don't know any of these people - they came in and out of my life in a matter of minutes (with the exception of Oliver Hardy who I am still regularly in touch with), but each one, for the same reason, made a profound impact on me. It's an old cliche and all that, but it's really true; There's nowt costs nowt but manners.
Roy Barraclough was once incredibly rude to me.
Frank Carson once told me to piss off at a motorway service station (I was eight at the time).
Whatever happened to them?
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