23/10/06
Revolution -
Categories:
I think it's good to properly lose your temper at work sometimes.
I have driven home from my gig tonight at the Birmingham University of Cakes or whatever it was fucking called at top speed. I wanted to stay as angry as I was at the gig so you could have some idea of the frustration I felt this evening.
Not going to go over the whole details, but suffice to say I have had enough of stupid people.
Like seriously though, end of my tether.
I got drawn into a heckling battle with some girl called Jess and at one point called her a 'rude-bitch'. She and her friends took great exception to this, particularly the use of the word 'bitch' but as you can see it was hyphenated and I felt that from the two words the former was the predominantly applicable one. They countered my comment by saying that it was me who was rude for calling her that. The fact that no acknowledgment was made of the hypocrisy of a girl sat at the front of a comedy night having to look up from reading a text to call the performer in front of her 'rude' tells you probably all you need to know. I deliberately went on to call her a cunt, idiot, slag, witch etc etc, all of which were happily taken at face value and continued to upset her and her entourage (in between texts of course).
To those of the audience who completely understood what I was doing, and shouted out "legend" at me - I salute you. As I said this evening on stage it is you that I care about, and you that I wish my comedy to speak to. To those of you in the audience who thought it was offensive - well it was - but you may have missed the point. It was deliberately offensive. There was a point to it, but if you can't work it out then you won't understand even if I explain it here either so I won't bother.
Suffice to say I had 40% of the audience on my side, 10% of the audience were on Jess' side, and the rest just wanted it to stop. If it's any consolation I have never been more angry on a stage in my life (and that's saying something) so you attended a unique evening. I think it will be remembered for a long time.
But I've had enough of these people. There used to be a time when I would tolerate idiots, when I would think it wasn't their fault they were stupid - they were just lumbered with it. That was before the arrogance of ignorant idiots started to become apparent. It's not just that they are stupid anymore - it's the fact that they seem to revel in it now, there appears to be a pride in it, and there is no comprehension for any other human beings but themselves. It's blinkered idiocy, and no matter how much you try to speak sense to them they still believe they are in the right.
Tonight at the gig I organised a court case as these girls had taken exception, and was represented by a guy called Miles from the audience (who was a true legend). The Jess girl kept shouting out that she "had witnesses" that I had called her a "rude-bitch", and no matter how simply I put the explanation she could not get her head around the fact that I wasn't denying saying it, I was just proving that it was true.
"But I've got witnesses that you said it" was her reply.
So you see what we are up against?
Simply not listening, or perhaps just not hearing. Perhaps not wanting to hear. The possibilities are depressingly endless.
Sick of them though. Sick of idiots. Don't think we should tolerate them any longer. Right thinking people need to rise up against these fucking stupid people. I've had enough - it's time to act - the cunts are growing in number and if we aren't careful they will take over.
They are everywhere and we need to fight them;
People who read Heat, People who talk and check their phones during films at the cinema, People who can't understand why fox hunting is banned, Men who are anti-abortion, People who bought Jordan's or Jade Goody's or Kerry Katona's autobiography and count that as a 'book' that they have 'read', Anyone who laid down flowers for Princess Diana, Anyone who has set a reminder for a reality TV show, Girls who say they hate anal sex but have never tried it, Anyone who thinks Laurel & Hardy is "just falling over", Men who use chat up lines, People who moan about "immigrants" because the country is "full"...
Just warming up now...
Proud drunks, Men who shout or beep their horns at girls from cars/vans, People who get upset by the word 'cunt', People who say they like a band because they know one fucking song, People who drive in the middle lane of the motorway and will not fucking move even when there is literally fucking nothing either fucking side of them, People that don't 'get' why Derek and Clive is funny...
I've not finished yet...
People who think black and white films are 'boring', People who don't indicate at roundabouts, Anyone who lists "American Pie" as one of their favourite "comedies", People who argue that their reason for not knowing something is that "it happened before I was born", Cyclists who ignore traffic lights, People who say they don't like porn, Anyone that believes Ernie Wise "wasn't funny", People who blank or ignore the homeless, People who whinge that the unemployed are taking their tax money, People that work for the council and think that it's important, Anyone who argues that blasphemy is relevant, Anyone who EVER use text speak EVER...
Oh you get the idea.
So who's with me? Come on, let's do this, let's reclaim the world.
Not tonight like, I've got to be up at 6am for a day of filming, but we'll do it soon. Let's stop putting up with them.
Comments:
your set. Anyone who is prepeared to fuck with a comic is obviously going to get burnt, I've
watched enough standup to appreciate that and I'm going to make the effort to see you in Moseley
and watch you grill someone else.
Unfortunately you now have something to live up too.
Greg Leat
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23/10/06 @ 11:18 Hope you feel better now... never been to your show but I will be at the Kav on Thursday, a decision based on your highly amusing blog / very accurate list of hates alone...
See you there!
(oh and great myspace page by the way - especially the music)
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23/10/06 @ 12:47 (Perhaps with the exception of setting a reminder for any reality show, I take the same pleasure in watching the odd one in the same way that I enjoy picking scabs)
The last two comedy nights I've been to I've had to tell some rat boy behind me to shut the f*ck up. The pr!ck and his girlfriend behind me at Russell Brands show in Cheltenham on Friday spent most of the night talking shit or on the phone and then, having hardly listened to a word he said , decided they really wanted to meet him. My fault for going to the gig in the first place maybe?
Perhaps fox hunting could be replaced by stupid ignorant selfish c*nt hunting?
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23/10/06 @ 14:04 · http://www.myspace.com/raypeacock Permalink
23/10/06 @ 20:27 This post has 194 feedbacks awaiting moderation...
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