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27/10/06

English (UK)   Comedy Kav, Mosely  -  Categories: News  -  @ 01:58:07 am

Have just got back from Birmingham again.

I don't have another gig in Birmingham for a while which is quite a relief. Not that I have any problem with the city, I actually find it very agreeable, but as I said the other day I do seem to have spent an awful lot of time there in the last twelve months, so it's good to not have to return for a while. I think my GPS machine knew that I wasn't going to go back there so it took me, once again, on a little tour of every other single fucking place I have ever been to in Birmingham before - every hotel, every gig, and the airport on the way home.

I am going to change the voice on my GPS machine - it is beginning to annoy me with all these sightseeing diversions and I have started to believe that it is the American lady speaking and not the actual machine that is being impish.

So you want to hear about my gig or not?

I was headlining at the Comedy Kav in Mosely (Birmingham - don't know if I mentioned that), and after the last few gigs I have done/endured it was a breath of fresh air. There were the usual conversations with the audience, and for some reason I had to explain to them how I acquired my bench socks. It had something to do with the fact that brilliant resident compere James Cook had been telling them where he got his new suit from before bringing me on, so the fashion histories had to continue.

Further to the story of the socks, the audience were also lucky enough to hear that my T-shirt (the black sexy one with the wide neck) was from Marks & Spencers, my jeans were boot-cut from Burtons, and my trainers were from a little skater shop in Cardiff. I couldn't remember where I got my hat from, but as I was driving home I realised that it was one of the ones from the Manchester gig when Dave Turquoise (comedy 'promoter' from St Helens) bought the entire audience black hats to take the piss out of me.

Dave Turquoise is terminally ill now so I think I can safely say that I had the last laugh.

The audience were lovely tonight though - none of the hostility I have become accustomed to in recent times, yet still sharp enough to give me friendly grief. We also discovered that my legs are not 'normal' (32" inside leg is normal apparently - not 29" like mine), and that a bloke in the audience nearly had a threesome but when it all started he was simply "too tired". There are some things you wake yourself up for. Although line of the night belongs to the lady in the audience who explained that when the man said he 'nearly' had a threesome, he meant he was just one person short of it.

So, I can heartily recommend the Comedy Kav gig to any punters in the midlands, and any comics who want to play a brilliant room of people that are there purely for the comedy and up for a laugh.

And I think that's me for this evening. I am going to be doing some work tomorrow I think as I don't have a gig tomorrow night and want to get cracking on with this thing that me and Steve Morrison are writing together which I am still not going to tell you about...

Okay - I'll tell you that it is a sitcom. Pretty brilliant idea eh? Writing a sitcom! Nobody does that anymore - I reckon me and Steve Morrison are probably the only people in the comedy community currently working on a sitcom so it's bound to get made into a series.

And here's an interesting fact - did you know that Steve Morrison was one of the cub scouts that ate food on the Revolution at Blackpool Pleasure Beach on Jim'll Fix It?

No - neither did I till today.

Night x

PS. Erm...feel I should add that, as far as I know, Dave Turquoise isn't actually terminally ill in real life. He just has a shaved head and looks like he is. Thought I'd better mention that before someone starts organising a benefit for him (like that would happen...).

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