14/12/06
"Go to Hell Kyle!"..."I already am in Hell"..."Well, go to a different part of Hell..." -
Categories: News -
Ray Peacock
@ 09:10:04 pm
I am beginning to get ever so slightly worried that I am addicted to YoSushi. I am going there a lot. It used to be that I could only go there on the odd occasion that I went into the centre of London, but now one has opened at Brent Cross and that's kind of convenient to get to from my house.
If anyone wants to make me a little cardboard sign that I can put in front of me when I go there saying "This is NOT a buffet - You have to PAY for all of this" then that would be a lovely Christmas gift.
Apparently Sushi is good for you though - and I have worked out a clever way of stacking the plates so that some of them are hidden by others. Not that I did it on purpose...well...not the first time I did it anyway. It's like when you buy multipacks of bottled water at the supermarket - as long as you pull off the little barcode label and throw it into the middle of the rest of your shopping when it is on the till conveyor belt, you are in the clear. You have offered to pay for it - not your fault if the person on the till doesn't pick it out and scan it...
So, earlier this week I did "Outside the Box" in Kingston, which was enjoyable and lovely (even though it was kind of quiet). Highlight of my night was the fact that I persuaded two audience members to genuinely go on a date with each other. I said that if the rest of the audience all put a quid in then they could have that sixteen quid as well so it cost them nothing, but unfortunately the rest of the audience left straight after the gig so Pete and Tiffany's romantic escapade will have to be self-funded on this occasion. They should just be grateful that I was there to nurture their blossoming love. I spoke to one of them afterwards and they said that it had been in the air for a while that they were attracted to each other, but it just needed a little push. Thank god for me! You really should just tell somebody if you fancy them though - you could be pleasantly surprised, and if not, what's the worst thing that could happen? You lose a friendship that you were only indulging because you fancied them anyway.
On Tuesday I went to Manchester to see Tenacious D.
Fucking top gig, seriously. A really theatrical show, musically incredible, very very funny and, coming in at two hours, worth the cash. Well I say "worth the cash" - I was in a free hospitality box, but I imagine I wouldn't have felt short-changed should I have paid. I bought tee shirts - I contributed in a way. I also bought an official Tenacious D "cum rag" which is just a small towel with a design on it, and I really have no idea why. I don't intend to use it for said purpose - ridiculous how a brilliant gig can get you excited into parting with money, isn't it?
The support act on the tour was a comedian called "Neil Hamburger" from the US. On last year's Edinburgh and Beyond tour, he became a bit of a legend. None of us had actually seen the dude, but the fact that he just said "Hamburger" as a catchphrase captured our imagination and it soon became a sporadic catchphrase of all the acts on the tour. Particularly Russell Howard who got very giddy whenever the opportunity to say it presented itself.
Anyhow, "Neil Hamburger" died the fucking death of all deaths to the capacity crowd and turned on the audience. When his name was announced in the thankyou's at the end of Tenacious D's set, I am confident that I was the only person applauding amongst the 20 thousand folk there. I was certainly the only one standing up and cheering.
However - I have since found out that this isn't the guy we had been taken with on the tour last year.
There are two comics called Hamburger!
How fucking ridiculous is that?
The one we were quoting was Alonso "Hamburger" Jones. His catchprase is "Hambuger" as a replacement for swearing. I had wondered why Neil hadn't said "Hamburger" in his act like I was expecting.
I was talking to one of the guys in the hospitality suite and he was pretty critical of the stand up part of the show - saying that Neil Hamburger was "shit". Now, admittedly, he did end his set by saying (and cover your ears if this might offend you - remember I am merely the messenger here) "Why does Julia Roberts smear her cunt with shit?" and then walking off without so much as a "discuss", but I think it was a little harsh to dismiss the fella on the strength of that gig.
It was seriously unplayable as a stand up gig - twenty thousand rockers and metal heads all there to see Tenacious D, and then some dude just walks on.
Of course he died.
I think people can be harsh in their assessment of comedians sometimes, other factors really can come into play with regards to a gig's success. I get the feeling that there is a certain school of thought that suggests a 'good' comedian can stand up anywhere and make people laugh, but that is utter bollocks, and certainly not an accurate gauge of somebody's talent. That's why as a comedian you sometimes get phonecalls asking you to come and be a comedian at somebody's birthday party, with no stage, no lights and a cordless mic so you can "walk around whilst you do your turn", or in fucking tents in shopping cetres just so some phone company can get a bit of publicity whilst you swallow any artistic integrity you ever had and just try to think of the money.
Like that thing Stephen Grant mentioned in his blog a few weeks ago. It's a complete misunderstanding of the art form, and more of us should turn down these sorts of offers lest such a cringeworthy experience puts somebody off watching comedy for life. And, by the way, that wasn't me slagging Stephen Grant there - or any of the acts that through no fault of their own get conned into these things - not at a bit of it - but it is me slagging the sort of people that organise these things and are that bereft of creative intuition or respect that they think a free gig in a tent in the middle of the day in a shopping centre will ever work under any circumstances. I feel it insults us.
And we've all (comics I mean) turned up at 'gigs' and thought "who the fuck decided that this was a good idea to do a show here, in the fucking corner of the main pub next to a fruit machine whilst people with no interest in the show sit around trying to have conversations?". And they are always the gigs that pay fuck all too. All it does is make some people a shit load of cash at our expense, and make the people in that 'audience' decide that if this is comedy then they will never be going to a comedy night again.
Somebody should trademark the word 'comedy' so it can only be used as a description for a properly thought out and organised night. I believe we have a duty to not indulge and perpetuate the fraudulent nights. And I speak as somebody who once ran a gig upstairs at the Hog's Head in Watford which fulfilled all of the bad points I have just criticised in others. My defence for my actions is youthful naievety - but I was never taking the piss. Some people, I suspect, do...and they are killing comedy for cash.
Anyway, I have gotten slightly off track (about three days camel ride off track actually)and onto a soap box. I was talking about that Hamburger fella wasn't I?
Regardless of how well he didn't do - I had a genuine respect for that Neil Hamburger chap. I don't get nervous before gigs generally speaking, but walking out at the M.E.N Arena? As a support act? As a comedian supporting a 'band'? Not a cat in hell's chance that I would manage to keep my cool in that situation. The dude deserved his round of applause.
Even if it was only from me.
Comments:
· http://myspace.com/anthologypage Who knows? (Sigh.)
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15/12/06 @ 01:45 He's got a death-wish!
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15/12/06 @ 01:48 This post has 19 feedbacks awaiting moderation...
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