02/02/07
"You're only funny because you're fat and ugly..." -
Categories:
First off, I want to briefly mention XS Malarkeys, where I performed on Tuesday night. That club is fucking brilliant, and I was finally able to do the 'normal' gig I have been craving. There were no unique incidents, no little dramas, just a really really enjoyable 40 mins onstage to a lovely, warm, receptive audience. It's my joint top gig of the year so far, along with East Harptree.
If you haven't been there and you are in the Manchester area then please go (although get there early - it was sold out the other night). Little Raji James who used to be on Eastenders had a lovely time too, although he couldn't quite work out why somebody who had been through gender re-assignment couldn't then carry a child. We were speaking to a friend of mine who has been through that process (as mentioned yesterday, that was who's breast I was feeling - very odd experience to be essentially feeling somebody up in the middle of a pub because they have offered their new breasts for assessment - I had to do it several times just to be sure), and Raji simply could not get his head around why they could not also add a 'womb' in the surgery.
He put it down to "The Man" treading over the little people. I said it probably was possible to transplant a womb in some way, but it wouldn't be functional. Raji countered that they can graft things onto or into people, so why would it not be functional. I explained that it was probably possible for him to have a third arm grafted onto his chest, but that didn't mean the fingers would wiggle. The discussion went on for fucking ages. I think he may have been being deliberately stupid in his drunken state.
Which brings us nicely onto the gig I did last night...
Over the years, on and off, I have been accused of being a bully onstage.
Sometimes I have been accused of being one offstage but that was normally disgruntled romantic involvements having a swipe at me and the frustrations I provoke in those situations.
The thing is, I can sort of see why people would have said it when I was doing gigs in character, the character of Ray Peacock was to a degree a bully, but I was always very careful about who I singled out for attention whilst doing the character. Of course you can never be a hundred percent sure, but I was pretty good at gauging who would be good value for my intitial onslaught and be able to take it in the Panto way it was meant, and likewise, if I felt I'd misjudged the person I was quick to come away from them.
Since dropping the character, I've had conversations with people who have described the difference between me in and out of character (and there is a difference actually), usually by saying that I am much calmer as myself onstage.
Generally speaking, this is probably true. However, and it is a big however, I think that when the situation calls for it, I am far more ruthless than the character ever was, and I do target specific people nowadays.
Last night I performed at The University Of Hertfordshire, and when I wandered offstage to a standing ovation (partial) I had a genuine concern that I had pushed it too far. I was worried that with hindsight I would be seen as a bully, and further concerned that I would have been deemed to be misogynist - it was an emergency assessment of the evening in the car that cleared me in my own mind.
The gig had been fine, but as time went on I was beginning to get irritated by certain pockets of the audience that wouldn't leave it alone. I positively encourage heckles and chatting (as we know), but it can go on a bit longer than you perhaps want and last night was one of those occasions - you know that when other audience members start shouting across at the disruptance that you need to take the situation by the scruff of the neck.
So the girl that was chatting loudly, and speaking into her mobile, and being an all round arsehole, was the one that got it. And she got it bad, even by my standards. Proper bad. It was when she shouted out "You're only funny because you're fat and ugly" that I knocked it up a gear, and went all out in bringing her down. I think it was around a twenty minute demolition of her, and as everything I said to her was evoking rapturous applause from the rest of the audience culminating with them voting her "most objectionable cunt who ever lived" in a minute long ovation (and a minute is a pretty long time for an audience to be cheering mid-set), meant I felt justified in doing so.
So why the nagging feeling as I walked from the stage? I think it may have been because I felt that the situation had run a bit deeper than a standard gig, as though something important was actually happening, and I wanted to be sure that I had played my part right.
A girl from the audience came up to me and shook my hand, leaning in to my ear and saying "Thankyou". I must have looked quizzical back at her because she went on to explain, "I was bullied by girls like her".
And this is the thing - I'm not a bully - I fucking target bullies, and the second she said that "fat and ugly" thing, I subconsciously knew that she deserved no mercy if that was the type of person she was. And as for my fear of appearing misogynist, it was again unfounded - I wasn't attacking her because she was a woman - I was attacking her because she was a cunt.
Several more people came and shook my hand with similar reasons, I was starting to feel like I'd done something genuinely important. I know it sounds very self-congratulatory to say that, perhaps borderline arrogant, but there was no arguing with what happened in that room last night. It wasn't my intention to do it, it just happened, I got caught up in the twister and my house fell on the witch, but that didn't stop the majority of students (or Munchkins if I am going to continue the analogy) at Hertfordshire Uni being grateful for what I accidentally/subconsciously did.
As I left the gig, someone was laying into the group that I had already destroyed. A big row was starting - all I overheard was "I think you're out of order, you always have been, and it's about time someone put you in your place...".
Now, it's not my intention to start fucking riots, but I do love the fact that my intolerance of them was infectious. Who knows how long people had put up with it, wanting to say something, wanting to do something, but not knowing how? And then along comes a little, fat and ugly catalyst striking a blow for the silent majority, giving them the impetus to finally feel that they could make their point to those who had been causing them distress.
I took that girl to pieces for everyone she had ever looked down her nose at, for everyone she had walked all over, for everyone she had ever called "fat and ugly".
I am great.
Comments:
Thanks again for a great night, it was well worth the 20 minute wait in the food queue, oh, and i'm the guy who's girlfriend cheered when you said about doing a poo in the toilet, and i can safely say she didn't :D
You ARE truely great
Permalink
02/02/07 @ 14:47 · http://www.myspace.com/raypeacock I never asked if anyone done a poo though...that was the compere Maff Brown...was this whole compliment meant for him really?
Much appreciated sir - seriously.
RP
Permalink
02/02/07 @ 15:35 Your not funny because your fat your funny because your northern haha! Keep it up!
Permalink
02/02/07 @ 17:07 · http://myspace.com/anthologypage Permalink
02/02/07 @ 20:26 This post has 6 feedbacks awaiting moderation...
RSS Feed