17/02/07
"Ray Peacock" Is Dead -
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And that was that.
I donned the cap of the 'character' of Ray Peacock last night as a one-off for the very last time on stage and now I don't envisage ever getting it out of my bag again.
It had already been over a year since he came out to play, and he was kind of subdued at the Blackwood Miners Institute in Wales given that his owner (me) was in the early stages of illness (some sort of coldy flu thing - am valiantly attempting to stave it off), and that he had ridiculously long hair for a man of his age (it was tied back and stuffed down his shirt which proved surprisingly uncomfortable). The gig was nice, I didn't do a word of material (as I don't recall any of it), and I got to abuse a lady from the tax office for spreading misery around the world. Shouting was difficult but I persevered...sorry, he did.
It feels so wanky referring to a character in the third person, but it's also incredibly difficult not to. I was chatting to Steve Jameson about it the other week as he kept referring to his character Sol Bernstein as "he" and "Sol" and it was really making me laugh. I kept telling him that he is Sol, but then he reminded me that I did the same with "Ray". You really do start thinking of them as just somebody that you know.
James Dowdeswell was telling me that John Oliver always talks about me once saying at a gig "I would hate this gig, but Ray will love it". Now I have no doubt this tale is recounted with the emphasis on me being some kind of twat, but despite having no recollection of saying this, I totally get it and would stand by it. The other week I was offered a big lump of money to stand at the front of a bus that was transporting casino owners to a conference and 'entertain' them. That was all that was in the brief, and I turned it down out of sheer fear and complete lack of idea as to what I would do for 90 minutes - I found it totally daunting. The following day it occured to me that "In Character" it may have been a piece of piss. I couldn't have done it, but "Ray" could ("Ray" the character I mean...they're right - it is confusing...) yet they are both me.
Anyway he's gone now, so let's not even think about it. For any other budding character comedians out there, I have just one tip. If you leave your costume in a bag for over a year and then do one last gig in character, the costume WILL stink.
On Thursday night I was headlining the first heat of the Chortle Student Award thing up in Newcastle, in what turned out to be rather an agreeable day out.
I'm really no good at working out times and things for driving so tend to arrive at gigs that are very far away ridiculously early - my call for the Newcastle gig was 7.30pm, at 3pm I was sat next to the Angel of the North having some quiet time and a ponder.
I've never been to the Angel of the North before, drove past it a few times, but as I was wanting for something to do I had a little drive up to it - it has something about it when you get right up close. I was there for about an hour. Probably won't go again, I've finally done that now. There was something a little sad about it - hard to explain...if you go up there you'll maybe see what I mean.
The actual show at Newcastle Uni was really enjoyable - the contestants did themselves justice and the standard was as good as a 'normal' comedy night. I was a little excitable when I finally got onto the stage as I had just been secretly informed that the winner of the heat was my friend Ed Gamble, and to be fair, he totally won it on the night. Before the show, Steve Bennett (the editor of Chortle) had told me I could be a judge if I wanted, but I politely declined. Well, I say 'politely' - I said "who am I to judge - I'll leave that to you cunts". I'm so glad I did decline though - I wouldn't want the controversy of my mate going through when I was a judge. For the record I had no say in the matter.
I've known Ed for a few years, he is in the Durham Review (I deliberately spell it wrong) and in my show Ray Peacock & Son in 2005 he and his colleagues took it in turns to play the role of a tax inspector at the end of the show. I am made up for the lad to progress in the Chortle competition, he genuinely did deserve it. Although, technically speaking, I perhaps should have won the heat with my brilliant thirty minute set which consisted of me throwing bags of Revels at high velocity in the direction of a student who informed us all he had dyspraxia. It was morally reprehensible, yet really really funny.
To me anyway.
I have no recollection of why I was doing it.
When Steve Bennett took to the stage to announce the winner at the end, I struck a blow for every comedian that has been mauled on this site by his misinformed and cruel reviews, and heckled him brutally. He said that he is going to write some put-downs for the next heat that I am headlining, and I have to tell you, this gave me goose bumps. Finally, this ongoing, tongue-in-cheek, war of words has been made public. How often can a comedian be given the opportunity to go head-to-head with a journalist who has written (sadly mostly accurate) critiques of their work?
And then have said-journalist write them a cheque for the privelage. I almost don't want to cash these cheques - I'm more inclined to frame them next to a print out of the reviews he has given me. It feels as though that would be good feng shui.
I was gonna stay up in Newcastle, but as I had to be in Wales last night I decided to bite the bullet and drive back down the country.
I blew a kiss to the Angel of the North as I passed and put my foot down.
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· http://www.yew-tree.com It is a thing of beauty
See you soon...
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