I drove down to Brighton in a light sulk, given that my Rugby League team, St Helens, were playing in the World Club Challenge at the exact same time as my gig on Friday.

The World Club Challenge is basically a one-off match every season where the Champion club side of Great Britain play the Champion club side of Australia to decide who is the best club side in the world. So it was St Helens versus Brisbane. And I was compering the Komedia.

I do my very best to ensure that I keep dates free in my diary to accomodate the big Rugby League games of the season. I find it difficult enough as it is not going to every match, as that was always the way when I lived up north, but as I now live in Knebworth (yeah - when did that change? Kept my moving from St Albans quiet, haven't I?), it's a bit of a trek to make it up there every week. Couple this with the fact that most St Helens rugby league games are played on Friday nights now, a night that is of course terribly busy to the stand up comic, and I have a no-win conflict of interest.

The point I'm making is, I'd have rather been at the Reebok stadium in Bolton that at the Komedia in Brighton.

However, a plan was put into place, as the match was repeated on Sky at midnight, and I had called ahead to the hotel to ask if they would allow me to watch it in the bar, which after a degree of flirtation on my part with the lady on the phone, they agreed to.

So, the gig itself on Friday was an absolute pleasure and I compered my little heart out. It was especially cool to be on the bill with Al Pitcher as we used to tour together, and as we were both in Brighton alone we got to hang out for the weekend too.

We got back to the hotel, with me refusing to turn on my mobile in case someone had sent me a text about the game, and avoiding passing any Walkabout pubs in case they were celebrating out the door. As Al Pitcher is a Huddersfield lad (despite his ridiculous New Zealand accent) we settled down to watch the rugby in the bar at midnight. Over the years, myself and Pitcher have swapped texts from time to time about the rugby league, and we went to the semi-final of the cup together a few years ago as our teams were playing each other. He stopped sending the texts as he was getting sick of being on the losing side all the time.

But anyhow, it was nice to sit and watch the game with him. Saints have had a bad start to the regular season, lost a couple of soft games, had a few key players injured and had been written off by pretty much everyone as having no chance of winning this game. The game began, I instructed some girls at the bar who they were meant to support, and then we sat back and watched Saints get beat for most of the match before pulling ahead 10 mins from time and holding on to be crowned World Champions. There are times when that team move me to near tears with their spirit, and this was one of them. The pride I felt was a force to be reckoned with. Everything against them and they came out on top. Never write off the Saints.

Al went to bed because he had a sore back, and I stayed up for a bit and chatted and drank with the lasses at the bar who proved to be exceptionally poor company so I went to bed.

Saturday was spent wandering the streets of Brighton, I bought a DC tshirt that I had wanted for a long time, saw some DC trainers that I really liked and for some reason didn't buy them, and then we drove along by the sea with the roof down on my car until Pitcher complained that his head was too cold and ruined it.

I could have written this entire entry about the two back-to-back gigs at the Komedia on the Saturday night, but have decided against it. Suffice to say, they were the worst two gigs I have ever done, the worst two experiences I have ever felt on stage, and the second show was the absolute worst display of human nastiness against one individual I have ever seen, let alone experienced first hand, in a comedy club. Not gonna lie to you, it fucking hurt and upset me a lot. A proper lot. I wasn't on form, but no-one deserves that. I then drove home in the worst rain and floods I have ever seen. It was a night of worsts.

I thought about how all those people in that audience would feel had I been killed on my way home, and then three aquaplanes later I decided to stop with the warped fantasies and concentrate on the road. I doubt they would have cared to be honest.

But that's enough of that, as a word of advice to any clubs out there doing two shows in one night - it is perhaps not the best thing for an act's confidence to have a message sent from a fucking doorman telling them what not to do on stage. It may just make them feel angry, undermined and unappreciated. For somebody who has made an all right living from being confrontational with audiences in a very tongue-in-cheek manner to be instructed not to be confrontational with the audience by a fucking glorified bouncer, well...

Also, the comic probably wouldn't feel the need to be confrontational with the audience if the fucking doormen and security got up off their arses and actually kept check of a late night, drunken audience.

Oh you get the idea.

As compere on Friday I was great guns, as an act on Saturday I sucked balls, and in the first Saturday show that was kind of my fault. In the second show, I had just been unsettled by others. Which again, is my fault for allowing it to happen I guess. You could do without the shit though...

Anyhow, that's me done for a bit. As I said the other day I am going on an adventure so will be completely offline for a short time - probably a couple of weeks - maybe slightly less or more, so there shall be no words of wisdom from me here during that period. It may be an idea to subscribe to this blog if you want to know when I return (this is pretty easy to do on MySpace, not sure on Chortle).

I know it's going to be hard - it will be hard for me too, but at least I am telling you. Some of the other bloggers on Chortle fuck off for months sometimes, without so much as a by your leave. I should have just said nothing maybe. I just didn't wish folk to think me rude if electronic messages aren't returned.

I'm sort of looking forward to not having to deal with the internet and emails for a bit though - I think it will be liberating on some levels.

You take care of yourselves x

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