16/03/07
Stuff in no order -
Categories:
So the inaugral Fopp gig came and went on Tuesday, and vague teething problems aside (just technical stuff like lights and that) I am confident it is going to be a really nice gig. I was certainly feeling it out cautiously, to the point where I probably looked like I wasn't interested, but I was just finding my feet and you wait and see what happens at the next one, now that I get it.
It was a decent turn out though, particularly for an off-broadway show on a Tuesday night. The Fopp gigs are simulcast, there is one on in Bath at the same time (a bit like Live Aid - in fact, it's just like Live Aid) resident compered by Mark Olver. We had more people in the audience in London than they did in Bath, they had a better compere - swings and roundabouts really isn't it?
Speaking of being cautious, as I was a paragraph-but-one ago, I got pulled over by the Police last night for driving "cautiously".
I'd just been back to Tescos (I'd bought Rocky Balboa on the PSP earlier and when I got it home there was no game inside) and had pulled over on the way back to check that they had put the game in the box this time. I have no idea why I didn't check in the car park of Tescos but I didn't. Anyhow, the police pulled up behind me just as I was pulling away and began to follow me. Half a mile later they pulled me over because I was only doing 28mph in a 40mph zone.
Now, how the fuck does that work?
With this information they said they had good reason to believe I was driving under the influence. I agreed happily to a breath test as I don't think I have had a drink for about a month or something. They couldn't do the test however because they had forgotten to bring out the tube for it...
I didn't know what they wanted from me, so naturally, I started being a smart arse.
They asked me why I was driving so slow, I said "Because the police were behind me, I'd normally proper put my foot down here".
They don't like it do they? They hate all that sort of thing.
Then they decided that they wanted to look in my car, saying they would check the front and back seats and if I objected to that. I said I objected because there is no back seat as it is clearly a convertible. I then did an obviously pretend look of panic and said "and there's no way you're looking in the boot!".
It must be the late nights that make them so cranky.
They got their torches to start the search and said "Before we look, are there any weapons in your car?".
I've never felt so mischievious in my life - those of you familiar with my 'act' will know that I sometimes take a 'weapon' onstage.
"Just my lightsabre".
I wasn't doing their suspicions of me being drunk any good, but I was telling the truth. After the usual thing of them asking if I was 'some kind of comedian', which never ever fails to make me laugh (and they always always ask!), I had to get my lightsaber out of the car to prove it.
If anybody out there is genuinely doing dodgy things in cars late at night, and you want a failsafe device to distract the police, just buy a fibreglass tube that lights up. They transform from arsey officers of the law into giddy children, practically fighting each other for "a go on it"...they even appear to completely forget why they pulled you over in the first place, abort their searching of your car and after asking you to "tell them a joke", will send you on your way to get up to more trouble unopposed.
Press news now:
I was very disappointed that the editor of Chortle Steve Bennett decided not to report my exciting Loughborough shooting news in favour of a story about Russell Brand being in a St Trinians Film, but I at least managed to maintain my celebrity profile in this cutting from a local newspaper which shows myself and recent Chortle award finalist Ed Gamble in all our glory on the night of the Newcastle Heat. I particularly like the fact that they dismiss dyspraxia as "innebriation" in the article. Nice touch.
I don't know why my hair looks so curly at the bottom. Ed thinks I look like Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) in the photo, but I don't see it myself. I think Ed just tries to cause trouble sometimes. See how he is making the picture look like it is me that is in the competition and he is the great brilliant proper comedian? I think I look lovely but with slightly sad eyes...
I did the EDComedy Celebrity Pub Quiz this evening which was as fine a time as always, and little baby Raji James who used to be on Eastenders came down and did his impression again. It was a fun fun fun evening, the quiz has really picked up now with a proper sized regular audience. You could do a lot worse than go down to The Hob in Forest Hill on a Thursday evening to join the fun.
And other than that I have just been writing lots on the sitcom that myself and, occasionally, Steve Morrison are writing together. I think the pilot episode is about 60% done from a script point of view, next comes the great lark that is cutting and structuring. I am not too good at the cutting bit, it feels like circumcision to me. I'll let Steve do all the cutting stuff. He can write the jokes as well if he ever gets around to contacting me again.
I'm gonna go and sleep now, I know it isn't much of a post today but I'd been away from you for a bit and found myself missing you so wanted to at least say something. And I am away all weekend (Hereford, Hull, Leeds) so wont be able to write then, so just wanted to, you know, just say a quick hello, and tell you about the police thing and show you that newspaper clipping and that...
Which I have now done. So I'll go back to my solitude.
You have a lovely weekend whatever you're doing - always in my thoughts xx
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