20/04/07
Birmingham to Leeds -
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I have done three gigs in the last two days that, remarkably, passed without event.
First up I was in Coventry (or Birmigham as I like to say)doing a set at Carey's - I went on, did a set, they laughed, I came off again.
Then it was up to Leeds (via Manchester to complete the trinity) where I did the Original Oak followed by The Library. Two gigs on the same night, which as we know I don't like to do, but both were lovely - went on, they laughed, came off again.
So there is literally nothing to tell you about them other than that.
In between stage time I made the following discoveries;
1. Driving around with your car roof down is cool. However, it does make your lips go very dry, and it does make other drivers sneer at you, and it does make you get a sun tan without realising it. I don't like getting sun on me, I personally don't think it suits me. I have also discovered that black cars need to be cleaned at least twice a fucking week when you do as much driving as me.
2. The limited edition Jabba the Hutt model/figure thing that has recently been released is far bigger than you would even imagine it to be. It is certainly too big, in it's boxed state, to fit into the back of a convertible car. That is why there is random Star Wars packaging litter currently being blown around Sheffield Meadowhall car park.
3. My factory installed car radio is practically impossible to get replaced with an Ipod compatible radio, regardless of how much money you offer. On a related note, the staff I met at the following branches of Halfords - Stevenage, St Albans, Watford - were as useless and unhelpful as I have personally ever seen anywhere ever.
4. My friend Sarah, who runs Yew Tree Youth Theatre in Wakefield, has special powers. Whilst visiting her on my travels yesterday, a small child emerged on her driveway with a big stick. Having been in umpteen situations with children hanging about in front of my house, I have found that the best course of action is to close the curtains, turn up the tv, and just hope they go away without breaking any windows. Sarah had a very different tack to get rid of him. He said "I have a stick - it's a real one". Sarah said "Where did you get it from?". He said "in that wood". Sarah said "Are you going to show it to your mum?". He said "yes". Sarah said "Are you going to show her now?" . He said "Yes" and left. Without meaning to bang on in a Star Wars vein it was like witnessing a real life Jedi mind trick, and I was naturally impressed beyond all reason.
5. On stage references to Kevin Smith films only work with student audiences, not with normal people.
6. Katherine from The Comedy Company is a brilliant poet. She sent me the following 'poem' yesterday:
There was a young man called Ray,
who likes to lead young girls astray,
he gets into tussle's,
whilst flexing his muscles,
just to prove to us all he's not gay.
She said I couldn't put it on my blog because she is 'not ready to be published', but I think some people need nudging to fulfill their potential and have made the executive decision to go ahead and print. Actually, that said, she did send me another one that was rubbish, so perhaps the one about me was just a fluke and she is right about not being ready. Ah well, too late now.
7. Mat Reid is a brilliant compere and an all round great lad but I strongly suspect he is in comedy mainly for the pussy. Watching him survey the predominantly young, attractive, female audience at the Original Oak was like seeing a lion perusing a herd of antelope. I don't know why he doesn't just marry it. How stupid he must have felt when I went on and they all fell for me instead. His exuberance and youthful looks are no match for the mature, dark charm that I exude.
8. Simply being in Doctor Who is enough to warrant autograph requests from students. It is of no importance that the part you play won't be aired till episode ten and is little more than a very brief cameo, they still want you to sign bus tickets.
And that's me - no rest for the wicked with a full weekend ahead in London for me. I shall report back as and when the mood takes me but till then...x
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