01/05/07
"What I did at the Weekend" by Ray Peacock -
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This may be a quick one (although whenever I say that it normally turns into a monster post) as I need to be up in just over three hours to go and do a day's work in Bristol.
I'm doing a couple of days as studio warm-up on Deal or no deal tomorrow and Friday, and tomorrow I shall have the pleasure of being taught how to do this by Mark Olver who is the regular/resident warm-up person on the show. He told me on the telephone this evening that it's a 'piece of piss' but I am loathe to accept anything that Olver says to me as truth, particularly given that he told me that the gig in Bristol where I ended up practically naked, doing pull-ups on on the ceiling supports whilst the audience mulled over the best ways to attack me, was 'a lovely gig'.
We shall see...I am both looking forward to it and nervous about it too. Not helped by the fact that I have to be up at fucking 5am. Why they have to film it in Bristol is beyond me, but apparently my suggestion of them filming a few in my conservatory was rejected by the top brass there. I don't know if that means Edmonds or the banker bloke, but either way, I have to go to them.
Anyhow, on Saturday I did a gig (as I mentioned) at Bracknell again. However, it was different to usual in that it wasn't a regular gig. A gentleman named Clive had booked the venue for his fortieth birthday party and wished to have comedy on too.
It was a very strange affair. Mainly because I am now so used to performing there to the regular crowd, but suddenly I was in exactly the same room, all looking the same, but filled with...and I'm not being ungracious...'posh' folk from outside the area.
And 'posh' folk sometimes don't like people like me. Well...I'll rephrase that...sometimes don't like me.
Why this made me swear so much more than normal is anybody's guess, but I think there is some sort of unresolved Northern working class chip on my shoulder that simply won't allow me to ever behave in an appropriate manner within these strange situations. I just felt that we really had no mutual ground to meet on, and that the gig had been 'invaded' in some way.
Yet, for all my moaning and incorrect (as always) pre-empting of what it would be like, it actually turned out good.
It was a fun night, and birthday boy Clive himself compered the show (I actually believe that it had been his plan all along to simply buy a comedy club so he could demonstrate his potential) and I had a lot of fun playing with the audience/guests - particularly when I had one of the posh blokes on stage in an attempt to teach him how to appear 'hard' with a roleplay of me spilling his beer in a pub. He was doing really well until he showed his true colours by getting out a pristine white handkerchief to mop up the spillage. All that after I had warned him that he was under no circumstances to apologise to me for spilling his drink too.
I love when people apologise for things that aren't their fault though. Katherine from the Comedy Company told me the best one I've ever heard on Saturday about when she was walking through London and apologised to a bin that she had walked into.
In all it was a much nicer night than I had envisaged, but I would still maintain that I was not worthy of the encore. As a general rule, if a compere asks an audience whether they want more and they simply don't respond, it is not a cue to then say "Please welcome back, Ray Peacock!" - particularly as Ray Peacock was in the process of running away from the building. Still, as I said, it was Clive's first gig...he'll learn as he gets a few more under his belt (assumming he has enough money to keep buying gigs to perform at of course).
Then on Sunday I had a day trip up to Durham to do the Cool Fun Comedy Night run by my great mate and Chortle Student Award Finalist No-Hoper, Ed Gamble.
As I wasn't really relishing the idea of driving that far up country, I decided to invite my little pal and sidekick who used to be on Eastenders , Raji James, to accompany me on the trip.
He brought his video camera and we again attempted to make a road movie, but as the battery on his camera was fucked, I am not sure how successful this has been. I know that he captured me resolutely refusing to put on my SatNav despite the fact that I then went on to turn straight onto the M1 towards London, and I know that he goaded me into saying some pretend-racist things in an attempt to either blackmail or undermine me in the future, and I know that he managed to film my entire set at the gig (because he could plug in the camera) including my impassioned speech that we as a society forgive Gary Glitter (I meant Gary Barlow - I just said the wrong name by accident) and my claim that, despite being morally against any forms of violence, I would happily kick Jordan in the face without blinking, but other than all that, I don't know what he will be able to salvage for YouTube...
I enjoyed Cool Fun Comedy Night immensely though. It may have been partly because I was around mates who I hadn't seen for a while or partly because all the girls bloody loved me after the show, but I think the main reason for liking it was the fact that it is just a gig put on by some students. That sounds dreadfully condescending, and I absolutely don't mean it that way, but I am a big admirer of people just doing comedy for the fun. All the regular performers there could just expend their energies trying to get gigs at professional clubs, or ring for open spots and that, but instead they have found a great venue of their own and are putting on the show they want to do. And I really like that idea, I really like that they are just doing it, and that it is turning out to be good. I am currently sitting here painfully aware that this sounds so fucking patronising, but that's really not what I am doing, I just genuinely admire people creating stuff and showing it off. I'd much rather go to a night like that than something slick and overproduced that has just had a shitload of cash thrown at it to publicise it.
Don't get me wrong, it's got to be funny too. There's nothing I hate more than a whole show of performers showing off to the back of the room whilst an audience sits baffled, but thankfully this didn't occur very much during Sunday's show, and the room was full with an appreciative crowd who were only too willing to allow myself and the other acts on stage to indulge in stuff that they perhaps wouldn't do at a normal club. It was certainly the most relaxed I have felt in front of an audience for a long while, and that alone made the traipse up there worth it.
The long journey up there also enabled myself and Raji to discuss the forthcoming podcast that I am going to be doing, and the journey back enabled Raji to inexplicably spend an hour or so pretending that he was in the secret service for some unfathomable reason.
That was when we stopped at Scotch Corner services to get petrol, and for some reason Raji wouldn't come into the actual bit where you pay, choosing instead to wander around my car suspiciously glancing up at the security cameras and furtively eyeing up the other customers as though they were an imminent threat. When I came out after paying he opened my car door for me, all the time looking arond the place as though I was about to be attacked, and then got in the car himself.
He wasn't even that drunk, and I have searched the internet all day today to see whether this sort of behaviour is evidence of some sort of mental breakdown or impending madness, but have drawn a blank. The fucking video camera wasn't even on - I don't know what on earth he was doing, and he wouldn't explain it to me, even when I pointed out that if, heaven forbid, Scotch Corner services has an armed robbery or something of that ilk in the near future, he'll be the first fucking person arrested.
He's a funny fucker though, and he lets me bully him so I shan't hear any other criticism of the man. Unless it's about East is East which he was in, because that was fucking rubbish.
Let's end this post abruptly - I really have to go to bed.
Comments:
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01/05/07 @ 10:17 Whilst it's what's expected of us posh people, I really do want to thank you for making Saturday's party such a success.
I, and many others, loved the routine and the fact that the bloke you pulled out from audience was the best man at my
wedding, without any prompting, was pure genius.
I'm currently saving my money for my next gig in 2017, when I still expect to be using the same material.
Many thanks,
Clive
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01/05/07 @ 19:25 · http://www.myspace.com/raypeacock Clive,
You sir, are superb. I'd definitely book you if I had a club. xx
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01/05/07 @ 20:21 · http://www.myspace.com/raypeacock Permalink
02/05/07 @ 15:26 
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