Who is Sue Doku? And why did she invent such a stupid boring game?
Got up at 10am today (well, actually, woke up at 10am; got up at 10.30 after spending half an hour shouting "No, I won't do it! I won't get up! No!"

The reason for my having to get up at this frankly ungodly hour was to compete in a Sudoku contest as a feature for the Times (I am still convinced that it was all a cruel joke just to get some unsuspecting comedians out of bed before midday, and won't be featured at all).

- As an aside - There is a very strange old man in a green t-shirt grinning at me and clutching an empty glass. I've just noticed him. He's making me uncomfortable. Ooh, he's leaving now. Shit, maybe he has super-zoom vision, like a hawk, and can read what I'm writing. Crap.
I'll be looking over my shoulder as I walk home tonight. I say 'walk' - I actually live so far away that it is almost impossible to walk there without dying of old age first.

Anyway - the Sudoku. Stephen Grant appeared to be some sort of pro - he actually knew the names of all the different levels - 'Fiendish', 'Horrid', 'Withered' and so on. It was all quite serious.

I don't like Sudoku, so I got Bobbin, the funny little cat from my show, to fill it in for me. He's a big fan of the number five, so I have a feeling he may have just written '5' in all the boxes - he did finish it suspiciously quickly; and when I glanced over I think I saw him doing a drawing of Patrick Swayze and some jelly, so I'm not sure whether we'll win.

Still, we'll probably beat Colin from Colin and Fergus. It's a fairly well-known fact that Fergus is the brain of the duo, whilst Colin is more of a hunter-gatherer. This unfortunately means that when Colin gets detached for his compradre he's basically a moron - only capable of blurting out monosyllabic words such as 'meat' and 'rope' whilst rubbing himself against animals and walls.

I am eating a tasty mango. It's a big one. Nice.

Oh no, the strange grinning man in the green t-shirt is back. He looks a bit like Rod Hull with a beard. Although isn't he dead?

Better go, I think he's plotting how to murder me.

Ruth x

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