There is a dog. He is making a noise. He has stopped now.

That's just a sample of the exciting things that can happen if you spend your time in the Brooke's bar.

My mum and step-dad came up today. We went to see Bill Bailey at a slightly weird conference centre. I was slightly concerned by the fact that my mum kept talking to herself during the show - saying "Oh dear" just after she laughed (in that funny old-lady-sighing way...even though she's not that old at all) and "yes" every time she agreed with something. When Bill started playing a little tune on one of his keyboards, she asked "Ooh, is he a musician as well?" (the three guitars and two keyboards onstage clearly weren't clue enough).
This would all be fine, and rather entertaining, but it does make me worry that she'll do the same when she comes to see my show tomorrow - and will keep saying "What did she say?" after all the jokes.
She has no idea that she's doing it, that's the trouble.
Hopefully she'll bring her ear trumpet along and then all will be well.

Ah, mums. My mum is hilarious but she is actually insane. Every single time I see her she talks about how the cat has senile dementure and is on death's door.
"Poor Rosie! She'll be dead soon!"
It's one of her three conversation topics - along with how the fat man who lives next door is probably an evil crimelord; and the fact that a child at her school (she's a teacher, not a student in a remedial class) bit someone's arm or ate its own shoes.

Marek Larwood is here. I think I might talk to him. He's nice.

Bye x

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