26/10/06
Marakesh is not a place I have been to -
Categories: Some silly twat keeps doing 'trackbacks' on my blogs, just writing strings of nonsense...I don't even really know what trackbacks are - it's some kind of special comedy spamming, no doubt.
Strings of nonsense
Ropes of fear
Bits of grizzle
In your ear
Threads of piffle
And gobbledeegook
All of this
Is verbal puke.
That's my new poem.
SO. Hello there peoples of Chortle. I was delighted to see that my old blog (back in the days when these blogs were in the forums) has outpaced all the others with a rather snazzy hitrate of 8700...not so much now, I fear, what with me only writing about once a week and having little to nothing to say about my life.
SO. I had a root canal today. I had one done 3 years ago and the stupid snivelling little woman did such a bad job that I had to pay £500 for a specialist to put it right. Apparently there were four 'fragments of instrument' INSIDE my tooth - which I'm guessing means bits of her drill fell off inside my tooth - rather than that she deposited little bits of flute and tuba there. Stupid moron.
I also fell off my bike this morning. People who were in Edinburgh might have seen me scooting around on my little 70's raleigh shopper...well, it has special folding handlebars that you can twist round and adjust - only I'd done rather too much of said twisting and adjusting, and this morning while I was riding it the handlebars fell out of their socket, and I fell onto the pavement. Fortunately I was going really slowly, so I didn't hurt myself too much. I fell like a little child onto my hands and knees - but I only have a small scrape on my knee. I'm well tough. The distressing thing was that after falling off I had to try and quickly fix the stupid thing and then spend 40 minutes racing over to my dentist appointment, worrying all the time that it was going to happen again and I would fly off under a lorry. I didn't, fortunately.
For some reason, I've been invited to a film premiere this weekend. It's all very exciting, but I can't help wondering how or why they have invited me...I'm quite sure I'm not top of anyone's list of important people to invite to a premiere. Still, I'm not going to complain.
Mice are invading my house. I accidentally typed 'mince' then, which would be funnier but weird. Mince is invading my house! Perhaps if mince were animate it would mince as it walked along. It seems likely. The attack of the mincing mince! Not a very good idea for a film.
But yes. Tiny flurries of grey keep rushing around the edges of my kitchen. The beasties are coming for me. I keep having visions of rats leaping at my from inside the toilet. Unlikely, I feel. But possibly a better idea for a film. A cockroach leapt out of a toilet at me once. That was in New York.
I am not keen on this new trend for leggings. Ladies all over London are displaying a new fantaticism for hideous lycra leg-clingers. For me, leggings were enough of a disaster in the 80's (refer to previous photo of me in floral leggings and matching t-shirt, aged 9) to even consider an attempt an reviving them a-la-2006. Bullshit. I love fashion but most of this season's stuff is just a joke. Ludicrous brick-shoes with "hello, I'm obese" massive tent coats, leggings (or "footless tights" as some silly people are calling them) - which supposedly show a 'skinny' contrast to the 'volume' of the fat-coats; it's all a pile of crap. Give me a 50's dress and a pair of Manolos any day.
In fact, give me a pair of Manolos every day. Someone. Please.
Ok, time to go. It's 11.15 and I have to watch 'An affair to remember' before bedtime.
Many loves to you my friend,
Rufus McBobbins x
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