Not meant to be rude, that title. Just sounds funny to my slightly deranged, 3 in the morning mind.
So, you can probably tell, my insomnia is back with a vengeance. The poor boy is trying to sleep and I keep tossing about (not in any kind of deviant or sexual way, just moving), turning lights on and off and getting up to shuffle about for a bit.
Maybe I'm a poltergeist.
No, that doesn't make sense.
Nothing makes sense any more. Particularly not the 'ideas' I just scrawled on a bit of paper in a feeble attempt to unload a few of the pointless thoughts that are clogging my brain.

I just looked in the 'stats' section of my blog (a fun little section I believe only I and the grand high lord of Chortle get to see). There is a brilliant section that tells you the referring searches (Ie what people put in to google that brings them, accidentally or otherwise, to my blog). These include:

ruth hairy
ugly fucking shoes
i am an insomniac
freaky penises
massive penis (several times)
3 days in marakesh
bumming my boyfriend
Dungeon Keeper tshirts
Tarnation penis
Why eyebrows will suit me
Mice are invading my house
porn dorset
Penis fell out of trunks

Firstly it's slightly worrying that my writing is not exactly attracting the most eligible of readers. From this evidence they appear to all be penis-obsessed, boyfriend-bumming Dungeon Keeper enthusiasts who love porn, never sleep, have no eyebrows and are being attacked by an army of mice.
Secondly, what the hell is a tarnation penis? And I won't even get into the wealth of variant meanings of the syntactically ambiguous 'ugly fucking shoes' (mostly because it wouldn't be interesting or entertaining in any way, and partly because I can't be bothered).

So. Hello.
I'm beginning to wonder if one of the phrases in the above list might end up as my Edinburgh title. I actually rather like 'Tarnation penis' - although probably it actually has a meaning and is some weird porn thing I don't know about, and then I'll end up with an audience full of tranny granny gimps... which is probably a Gary Le Strange song.

I just killed a little beastie. It was flying near me. Now it is not flying, it is dead. I'm going to try sleeping again. Here's a doodle I did of a dog and a do.

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