As is inevitable in this exciting Edinburgh-is-almost-upon-us time, I'm feeling a bit left out. Several friends are embroiled in the all-consuming world of previews and I'm looking at high-waisted trousers on Ebay.

A bit of a waist of time, you might say.
Yes, I know I promised to give up bad puns, but pish, what do I care.

Why is a job lot called a job lot? Why is it called a lot at all? Is it anything to do with the quantity 'a lot'? Sometimes a lot isn't a lot, it's just 2 or 3 things.

These are the important questions one has to consider when one has too much time to oneself.

I'm hoping to make it up to Edinburgh, although I'm not sure I can actually afford the train fare. The lovely Roisin Conaty (The Cakes), Sarah Solemani and Olivia Poulet (The Queef of Terence), Tom Bell and Ed Weeks (Tommy and the Weeks) would be my shows of choice, not only because I know they'll be very funny, but also because they are lovely and deserve to do very well. I don't know what a Queef is (like a terrible friend I haven't actually seen their show yet) but I like the word.

I might put on my shiny red shoes and go for a walk.

R x

The internet finally arrived at my house. After 6 weeks of loitering outside other people's houses hoping to catch a whiff of open network, I am online.

Working at Channel 4 this week, how nice for me.

Currently wondering whether anyone will continue to bother reading this blog. Not sure I have any worthwhile opinions on anything at the moment. I'm going through one of those 'pay the bills, sort out life, do some filing, occasionally worry about tax return' stages.

I am looking forward to trying the new 'Peartiser'; of appletiser fame. Except actually, I'm not, because I hate pears, so I will probably never try it. But in theory, if I didn't hate pears, I would be looking forward to trying it.

I went crazy and ordered a whole bunch of rock and roll cds on amazon. Is it sad and terrible that that receiving those is still the only thing I have to look forward to this week? I actually still get overly excited not only at getting parcels, but just at the idea of getting post in general. I haven't grown out of it yet. Who wouldn't love getting post? Apart from those horrid 'your council tax is in arrears' letters. They're not so nice.

Better dash.

R x

Still not online. Those seemingly helpful people at Virgin still haven't sent me my box of internet, which is most disappointing. So I am currently sitting in the Fremantle offices, like some sort of weirdo whilst everyone else is at lunch, using their nice wireless internet. Hooray for me.

I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself at the moment. I have a few grand schemes hidden away in my head, but whilstever they remain in my head they are not enormously useful. It's also got to that 'are you doing edinburgh' stage of the year and I'm feeling a little left out of the party...but also quite glad that I'm not doing it. It was so exhausting last year, and I wouldn't want to do things by halves and just go up for the sake of it. I'll probably go back next year - it will be like the Take That comeback only on a much smaller scale and with less Jason Orange.

Actually, maybe I could do a double act with Jason Orange. That would be worth seeing. "Pickett and Orange". It's a shame my surname isn't "Lemon". Perhaps Jason Orange should teem up with popular celebrity baby Apple Martin, thus creating the hilarious duo, "Apple and Orange". Though the enormous age gap would probably make it weird and wrong.
Shame.

Also I need time to plan a lavish engagement party, which, if my bank account has anything to do with it, won't actually be lavish at all - it will be more like an engagement huddle.

Maybe I should dye my hair platinum blonde. Like the Wormwood wife in Matilda.
No, I don't want to look like her.

Have to leave. R x

Right, so, this blog will from now on be written on a regular basis. It's my solemn vow and everything. My excuse for the past month or so has been that I moved house, and the silly twats at the-crap-internet-provider-who-shall-remain-nameless-for-legal-reasons messed everything up so I still have to come to an internet cafe for my hotmail and animal porn needs. Pif.

So, hello. News with me...just finished Project V (www.project-v.net), so have to immediately start plans on a new project, lest I shrivel into a small weevil for lack of things to do. I'm not doing Edinburgh this year so will probably spend most of July and August rejoicing at all my free time and (relative) lack of debt.

Last weekend plumbed in my washing machine (well, actually, my dad did it, but then it started leaking and I managed to fix it myself...go me!) but now there is some sort of other annoying leak coming from the inlet hose (yeah, that's right, inlet hose, I know all the lingo) so I have to buy a spanner and fix it (ha, spanner, still funny).

I should be doing the 4 radio weekly show again soon as well, so that will be nice. Oh, and Nick (my boyfriend) and I just got engaged. If you think it's unececessary that I just shared that information with several web-based strangers, it's not. I'm actually doing it because half of my friends, and some of my family, still don't know, due to their TOTAL INABILITY TO ANSWER THE PHONE...DAD.
So yes, I am engaged to the lovely Mr Vass. Hoorah.

I had better go. This internet cafe closes soon. Doctor Who is over for the year, boo!

See you later

R x