06/08/07
Winning -
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People are very concerned with winning.
I noticed this a long while ago, when, aged 12, no wanted me on their netball team because I was 'crap' and would make them 'lose'.
(I realise there was no real need for the inverted commas in that last sentence, but I liked them as they made me sound cynical and annoyed in an intelligent 'but of course, I know better' way. In reality I am not particularly cynical and definitely don't think I know better, but for some reason liked sounding that way.OH WHY MUST I ANALYSE EVERYTHING I SAY?...Usually these unhelpful self-analyses are an ongoing commentary in my head, but in the dangerous Land of Blog quickly become an embarrassingly public demonstration of my complete lack of ability to just STOP AND BREATHE).
I couldn't get to sleep last night. I can't even remember what I was worrying about, but at the time it seemed very concerning.
Anyway, winning.
As someone who has always been shit at sport, I am also someone who has absolutely no interest in sport, and no real comprehension of why anyone would be interested in sport. However, it's not so much the playing of sport I don't understand (although why anyone would choose to spend their time throwing, kicking or hitting a small object around a field for any reason other than having dementia is something I will never really comprehend) - but the supporting of professional sport that I don't get. And although I hate to join the 'girls don't like football' cliche brigade, football seems quite a pertinent example as it's the most widely supported sport in the world.
The thing I don't get is this: yes, it's nice to win. I get that. I imagine if you win in an ACTUAL game that YOU ACTUALLY PLAY it's particularly enjoyable (I wouldn't know, the only thing I ever won was a colouring competition when I was 7, and I just got bullied for that) but what I don't understand is millions of grown men and women getting inordinately excited because "they won" a football match.
Um, well, who won exactly?
11 ludicrously overpayed men. (Is it 11? You may be able to tell I'm not one of those girls who pretends to know something about football just so they can pull some sweating man in a pub when the world cup is on)
And how many people go about shouting 'Yeah, yeah, we won' (or whatever it is that football supporters shout...probably 'your mum's a whore, you didn't score' to an unsuspecting 5 year old who's been dragged along by his dad)?
Thousands. Millions in the case of national games.
WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY WIN? IN WHAT WAY, EXACTLY, DID THEY CONTRIBUTE TO THE WINNING? IN WHAT WAY WILL WINNING ACTUALLY AFFECT THEIR LIVES?
In no way.
In no way at all.
It seems to me to be a feeble attempt for people to
1) Perpetuate the notion that it is ok for warring groups of people to hate one another, and celebrate one another's downfall
2) Make themselves feel like they achieved something when they actually did nothing other than shout at some people running around a field
3) eat pies and drink beer whilst avoiding spending any real time with real people.
4) Pathetically live out a watered down dream that they could have been down there, playing that game - that could have been them.
NO IT COULDN'T! YOU'RE FAT AND OLD AND YOU WORK IN MARKETING!
But the problem that I really have with it is the obsession with winning.
Why is it so very important for us to pinpoint winners and losers? You get it at the Fringe with the Perry-comedia-halifxos or whatever they're called now.
I'm not saying it's not important to highlight and reward success - I'm just saying I don't think the idea of 'winners' and 'losers' is a particularly pleasant or helpful one. Particularly in artistic fields it implies that those who 'lose' are not just second best, they are completely worthless. Never mind the fact that they nearly won; that they spent years trying and training and working, that they got a 2.1 instead of a 1st; that they got to the final but lost on penalties - never mind all that. They didn't win and therefore they are useless. Pointless. Cast into the void of also-rans.
Not quite remembered.
Not quite there.
Maybe I don't like it because I don't believe I'll ever win anything.
Because secretly, I want to win too.
Everyone wants to win.
But only a few people do.
That's why life is so shit.
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