18/08/07
A sort of pale yellow -
Categories: I like lemons
They are small
Like eggs
I can’t think of anything else that’s small
Apart from lots of people’s brains
Especially people who don’t like me
They are the worst kind of people
Apart from paedophiles.
Lemons are small
Not like dragons
Dragons aren’t even real
But they are big.
How can they be big if they aren’t real?
Surely if they aren’t real they have no size
Because they aren’t real
So they could be anything
Because they aren’t real
Or are they?
Lemons are very philanthropic
They are always organising
Lemon Aid
which, by the way
is a pun
which, apparently
Are very unfashionable.
My name is not Lemon
I am glad of this
Is anyone called Lemon?
Maybe I’ll Google it
There’s bound to be someone in America.
There’s always someone in America.
If I were French I would pronounce it
Le Mon
Which means ‘The My”
Which doesn’t even make sense.
Silly French.
They like onions.
Onions are a bit like lemons
Only with an oni
Instead of a lem
And layers
Instead of lemon coloured stuff.
If I were a lemon
I wouldn’t like Mr Onion
He would be my enemy
And we would have verbal
Slanging matches
I’d say
“Smelly old onion”
And he’d say
“Bitter old lemon”
And then eventually we’d get drunk
And forget our differences
And just enjoy
Being a lemon and an onion.
Before fading away
Into compost.
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