04/12/06
Feline infectious peritonitis / Edinburgh 2007 -
Categories: Things have a habit of linking together. But not always for the best.
Last week was a wholly rubbish week for me. I have this phrase I use, called the 'Shidas touch', which is the antithesis of the Midas touch in that everything I touch turns to shit. Last week it was in full effect; I got a minor electric shock from a broken bedside light that fused the whole electricity upstairs, with no evidence of a tripped breaker (annoying); my cat, who was staying at my mother in law's while I was in Hungary, had become worryingly ill soon after me picking her up and had to be taken to the vets (upsetting), and a big clump of my hair fell out for no apparent reason (worrying). On top of that, my local council is taking me to court for a minor parking offence that has spiralled out of all control. In actual fact, I'm quite pleased that my diary is full between now and Xmas day because the one thing I need right now, is distractions.
I'll be honest - the major issue has been my 7 yr old cat, Somna. She's part of the family; and a large chunk of my sanity too. Cats crave what comics ignore; routine. Whereas I would normally get up when I wake up, sleep when tired, and eat when hungry, she would always force me to do those things at set times (I eat when she does). It's a large portion of my mental health. I love her to bits. And things were not looking good for her over the weekend; the vet had transferred her to an animal hospital for blood tests and monitoring, and she had been placed on a saline drip. Every phonecall was more upsetting than the last one.
So when today started with a text message from Lisa my agent with preview dates for my 2007 Edinburgh show, it dawned on me that I should really start thinking about if I should go - and that would be a distraction from heaven. So, I took advice from myself - and read the post I made on the Chortle Forums while in Edinburgh so that I could commit to it all with a clean head. It's called, "Why go to Edinburgh".
And herein lies the circularity of it all. Shortly after reading this passage :
I've only cried 3 times in the last 5 years - once when my cat disappeared, once when I was hit at 40mph by a full-sized Go-Kart, and once when I found I had no tickets sold on a Saturday night in 2003 when all other shows that day had sold out.
...I got a phonecall from the senior vet. My cat has feline infectious peritonitis, an often fatal disease that in the 'wet' form causes huge discomfort and massive organ complications. The prognosis is pretty desperate. She probably won't be coming home, and I've been advised to prepare for the worst.
OK, I'll admit it. I cried a little. Once after putting the phone down after taking lots of notes; once when phoning Anneliese to let her the bad news, and once when I went downstairs and cleared up her toys. Even writing right now is making me a bit wobbly. It's safe to say I've not been this choked in years.
And yet tonight I'm gigging - at the Tattershall Castle. And in a tiny, selfish, way, I'm looking forward to it. Comedy's an emotional job, and yet despite being 'quite a lot like my normal self on stage' (as per my Chortle review), I find the escapism from whatever's going on in my life quite welcoming. This is true of quite a few comics - Mandy Knight's 98 Edinburgh show described how she performed on the very night she heard of her Dad's death. To me, it made perfect sense.
The big question is if it affects my act tonight. It might. On the way home from Heathrow in May 2004 to do my Sunday gig at Komedia, I arrived seconds after a horrific pile-up where 8 people had died. We saw a dead body on the road - amongst other things - and my wife couldn't sleep properly for a week. When I went on stage that night, I was brutal. Funny, but brutal. Somebody started texting while I was on stage and I went completely over the top laying into them. It was still getting good laughs, but quite out of character for me, and certainly a reaction way beyond what the situation called for.
Amongst my many emotions right now is guilt. Guilt, that I'm so unhappy about something as 'comparatively' trivial as a pet dying. That story above involved the horrific death of 8 people with a huge amount of life in front of them - but for some reason it doesn't get to me nearly as much as what's happening to my poor little cat, who's suffering terribly.
The main emotions are tough to determine though. I don't know wether I'm angry or upset. Though I did just chuck my PDA at the carpet for not accepting 'sealion' as a word in Pocket Scrabble (bollocks is it hyphenated). So, more than angry than upset. If you're at the Tattershall Castle tonight, I apologise in advance, but I claim mitigating circumstances.
Comments:
· http://www.myspace.com/raypeacock 
Permalink
04/12/06 @ 16:44 So sorry !
Permalink
07/07/08 @ 12:10 This post has 362 feedbacks awaiting moderation...
Leave a comment:
Trackback address for this post:
http://blogs.chortle.co.uk/htsrv/trackback.php/376
Trackbacks:
No Trackbacks for this post yet...
This post has 362 feedbacks awaiting moderation...
RSS Feed