10/07/07
Xtreme Hobnobbing -
Categories: Last night's decision to cancel our preview seemed like the best idea in the world. Until that is, I picked up a copy of the London L(Sh)ite. I say picked up, it was thrust into my chest by an angry distributor of free goods. I can never work out why they are so vicious. Is it their only means of standing up against the trash that they hand out so freely? Or is it because the only people they can hire to do such a mundane task are a bit damaged and don’t know the difference between love and pain? Many of them having 'hugged' family members until they died. We shall never know.
Anyway, within this small waste of sapling, our Tea and Cake preview happened to be pick of the day. A rare occasion and extreme hard work from our ace PR lady, but we had shat it all up by cancelling the only gig we've had good coverage for. Gash. There was no way to rectify the situation, as all our props were in the car with my girlfriend the other side of London. So we just didn’t bother trying and had a muffin instead.
The Good, The Bad and The Queen gig was excellent. It didn’t start being excellent. In fact all the support bands were mediocre, it was raining lots and Harry Enfield MC'd. Many of you might think that was a good thing, but it was as though your dad was allowed to host a great gig, and was awkward and humourless. There are many a better host/MC in the comedy world that could have done that gig justice. Harry also kept swearing loads as though he thought that made him down with the kids, when instead he just seemed like the sort of awkward dad who makes all your friends hate you. Shame really. I was very tempted to shout 'You haven’t been funny since Stavros', but was able to maintain myself.
Damon's band were actually amazing. As well as the legendary mix of people in the band, they had a full string section, choir and a beheading of a man dressed as Tony Blair (po-lit-ical, word). Most songs managed to entirely silence a rowdy crowd and we all had shivers down our spine long after it finished. Superb stuff.
Afterwards, my brother and I were persuaded to go to the after party (not much persuasion is needed for these events that involve further booze) which happened to be unnecessary miles away. The place was swanky and filled with people with elaborate haircuts and clever hats. I felt completely out of place, and spent the whole night in a corner waiting for someone to spot I shouldn’t be there and throw me out. I'm normally very good at hobnobbing (the social networking that is, not the art of throwing biscuits in people's eyes or the sexual act involving oven tops), but the people there were all so cool and chummy that I felt unable to do anything but be corner boy. The worst was when Dennis Hopper appeared and I felt completely star struck. Well at least until my brother reminded me he was in the Mario Bros Movie.
He had a huge presence in the room, despite being much smaller than you think (us small people manage to do things like this well) and I spoke to someone who had met him three times and was still unable to speak to him so I felt ok.
It reminded me of when I met Kevin Spacey several years ago and managed to blurt out 'You are like one of my acting idols', only for him to grimace at me and my supportive friend to laugh in my face. I have been somewhat scarred since then.
Today I have too much of a beard on my face but didn’t have time to shave before I left the house. The itchy pain is overwhelming and I keep need to rub my cheeks (facial not anal) on inanimate objects to survive, like a lesser Balloo the Bear. I truly believe that evil bad guys in films with beards only became evil due to the itchy insanity that followed beard growing. That’s why Rasputin was proper nuts.
Fat Tuesday tonight with Glenn Wool and Steve Williams! Huzzah! After which I will shave! Huzzah again (I promised more use of that word so there it is).
Over and out.
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