24/07/07
Happy Endings are sh*t -
Categories: 5 days has passed since our final preview, and I can successfully say that we have done no further work towards our show in that time. Probably not what it needs, but all in all, its nice to have a little rest before you get so bored of the whole show you start to sabotage it for each other. I have already anticipated this will happen towards the end of Edinburgh and have bought hilariously logo'd underpants specifically to throw Lauren off. (Yes I am in my pants for two sketches. Have you ever heard more of a reason to see a show? Although to be fair, I've probably scared most of you off. Its true. I have no dignity.)
So what I did do this weekend was spend the whole of Sunday reading the entire Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as did much of the world aged 7-70 (if they still have decent eyesight). I'm not by one iota ashamed of this, and in fact I got really excited about buying it and finding out what actually happens to the boy wizard. And I have to say, it’s a pretty damn good read. Yep, JK has ripped off every fantasy writer this side of Discworld, but she also has a great way of making you love her characters. The book's pretty ace, and has a superb battle scene, and all is good and fun until...the end.
So so many things manage to screw up endings. I know endings are supposedly a tough thing to do, but after reading or watching most endings of things, 90% of audience will know where it’s gone wrong, and yet the director/writer seems to be unable to notice it and continue to f*ck it up. Potter has a happy ending. It comes pretty damn close to having a realistic (OK I know he's a wizard so realism is not the most important factor) and mildly depressing conclusion, but it jumps the gun and makes everything all happy and shiny before children can clog up Childline with their moaning.
Life rarely has happy endings. Especially if you are fighting the most evil wizard ever (Voldermort that is. Although there are many contenders to this title, including Sauron, that one from Willow the Wisp and David Copperfield). I want more realism in these things so children can learn to not be so bloody optimistic. Spiderman should've got bitten by a radioactive spider and got cancer, Simba should've been shot by illegal hunters, Woody should've got stuck behind a radiator and never retrieved, Shrek should've been burned at the stake for being an ogre, and Harry Potter should've died while Ron and Hermione are reduced to a life travelling with Paul Daniels and Bobby Davro respectively. Because that’s what would really happen. And that’s what I'll tell the kids at Comedy 4 Kids in Edinburgh for maximum tear potential. Although none of them will be old enough to know the sheer tragedy of Bobby Davro, and they should all feel joy to have been spared his and Linda Lusardi's mediocrity (although Linda's lycra suits will forever be applauded).
I like that in a story. Harshness. And unnecessary damage to buildings and people. I saw Transformers at a preview a few weeks ago, and it was amazing. Yeah it had a happy ending, but it also had 2 hours of huge robots f*cking stuff up. No proper storyline. No sh*tty love stories. Just robot violence. Beautiful.
I've kind of forgotten what my point was thanks to memories of robots destroying things. Jesus, they are big robots and they destroy so much stuff. But I do think JK missed a shot by finished the books with an ending that would shock the world. I might write to her and suggest a second edition featuring a teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, a youth detention centre and obesity, with Harry declaring his gay love for Voldemort before being stabbed by hoodies to cover all current issues.
Or I could just actually do some work towards our show....
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