And goddamn I'm happy about it! Well sort of. It hasn't quite hit me yet that our show is now over, and I feel programmed that I will have to go to a dark dank little cave to perform to 15 people, 4 of whom will not enjoy our show because they thought it was friendly comedy about cakes. And while that may not sound fun to some of you, and you may have seen my poorly written section on the front of chortle today about being sick of the show, I will miss it. I will miss worrying about how many we have in, I will miss the dressing room banter with the lovely Dave and Dave and others (although not the show before us, they were arses), I will miss distributing high fives to our excellent tech sturdy Neil, and front of house legend Gavin, I will miss making children upset with viking rape gags, and making crowds laugh. I wont miss flyering, but I don't think anyone will. I feel we've got some good stuff out of it. Excellent quotes, some interesting offers and the knowledge that we can cope with a month of shows. Also I've seen some truly brilliant stuff this year and I'm so glad I got off my arse to do so.

Its been an extremely long month and a hell of a lot of hard work and fun. Our final show was OK today. No pranks or anything as we were too tired for that after being out till the wee hours. The if.com party was good last night, but mainly due to drinking much with Ginger, Black and one of the Penny Dreadfuls, to the point where we thought dancing was OK. Always a sign of drunkenness when you lose your dignity. Hooray for Burnsy and Basden. Brendon's was like a lifetime achievement award I suppose, but I am a tad sad it didn't go to Pappy's as their show was just ace. Basden's show was brilliant too, but I lost a fiver to Lauren as I bet on Richardson, because his show was one of the best things I've seen this fringe too. Either way, at the end of the day, I didn't really care and we all knew most people were there for the free booze, which was successfully provided.

And so the last show today was slightly slow and tired. Again however it doesn't matter because its done, and I've survived the month. Now for two days of no responsibility and drinking lots followed by a week of sleep. I'd be lying if I said 'roll on next year's fringe', but I also know the anti-climax will hit me in a day or so, and I'll feel a little sad leaving the beautiful festival city. Ho hum, roll on next year.......

Arthur's Seat is deceiving steep and more so when you are hungover and in a rush. Hills seem to have the ability to become only more difficult when you are in some way handicapped. This is again one of the reasons why Edinburgh is the worst place in the world to be with a hangover.

The reason for this morning's hike was to take part in This Sketch Group Belongs to Lionel Richie's show up on Arthur's Seat. They were going to do their full hour, but realising that some sketches may be tough to do without a stage and lighting, they decided to split the bill. And despite the trek (which was to be fair only bad because of my beer gut and unhealthiness) it was a great gig, with a fantastic view. About 100 people showed up and were all really receptive despite the strong winds. It was fun to be part of something that felt like it was truly the spirit of the fringe. Consequently as well, any other hill I have walked up today has been easy to deal with. The place where Arthur rests his bum is clearly king of the hills.

Numbers finally picked up for our show today which was nice and I can only hope that it will be the same tomorrow, not least so that I don't have to flyer much in the morning. I am finally so so sick of flyering that it has risen high on my list of most hated things. Its the if.comeddies tonight, and while I am there to see who wins, I am mainly there because of free booze. Free booze + fun = next day flyering pain.

We are both pleased there is only one show to go now, and doing it that million times has made us realised what bits we've done wrong and could do better next time. Doing things like Arthur's Seat today and Devlin's Daily at the Stand yesterday keeps the enjoyment up. But we are truly sick of the script, the music used and just about everything to do with our show and I'm looking forward to shoving to the back of my head for a bit, and just enjoying my last couple of days here.

Saw Stewart Lee last night. Another brilliant show from him. It was only marred by some complete twat who walked right across the stage behind him, once about 20mins, and once at the end when he as trying to close the show. Stewart dealt with it brilliantly, but the man's sheer incompetence was ridiculous. People like that should not be allowed to see comedy, or at least snipered if they do things like that.

Night before I went to see the Shins who were amazing. So nice to once again do something completely not comedy related. I also saw the Witching Hour which was quite possibly the scariest live show I have ever seen. I didn't know I could scream like a girl until I saw that show. I highly recommend it, although I will never ever go again as my nerves cant take it.

Home soon! Real food, actual sleep and preparation for next year awaits!

As a comic I like to think that I am constantly striving for laughter, pleased when a gag works and actually successfully entertaining people as per the job title. However, for the first time ever yesterday, I realised that the wrong kind of laugh can ruin everything, and be worse than a cold deathly silence.

We had both an agent and a TV scout come along to our show yesterday. We were happy about this as we've had really good numbers and crowds which has been great. Sadly, not only was it an emptyish gig, but of the few people that were there, two of them were completely nuts. Perpetrator number one wasn't so bad. He was brain damaged or something and sat in his wheelchair going in and out of consciousness, while mumbling nonsense. I didn't mind this so much. Perpetrator number two however, had a laugh like some sort of a jackal being molested and/or attacked, and he would laugh at loudhailer volume. He chose to use this laugh before and after every punchline, and in every possible place where it made it possible to throw our timing out of the window and kill all atmosphere in the room. It was such a horrible intrusive sound, akin to having a fire alarm go off right next to you. There wasn't much we could do either. If we were nasty to him it would have created tension, if we acknowledge it nicely its almost like we've asked him in as our canned laughter. So we just pushed through what was possibly the worst show this month and left feeling like we should hang ourselves.

I have subsequently heard that the TV scout couldn't concentrate after 15 minutes of that noise and therefore didn't pay any attention to our show. Another reason the laughing man must be killed. How can a laugh be that selfish? I aim to find this man and torture him with the recordings of his own laugh for 24 hours a day out of punishment. Grrrr.

The word on the street is that this last week is a bit quiet for the festival. We've had a sudden drop in numbers since Tuesday, and so have lots of other acts I've spoken to. And the Royal Mile really doesn't seem as packed as normal. Very strange. What is it that the punters know that we don't?

Although there is a chance we have low numbers due an occurrence with poster sabotage. Being rookies at the postering lark, we decided to go pasting the other night all sneaky like with a bucket and handfuls of deviancy. We do have poster distributors but we have 100 left so we thought we'd get them up. Turns out that despite trying to paste them to the side, above or below other posters, we were hitting someone else's turf. They retaliated by the next day sticking big 'CANCELLED' stickers over all of our posters. Ouch, what a sting. Luckily the misunderstanding has now been sorted and our wrong posters have been removed. I cant help thinking though how vicious and nasty that is. Needless to say we wont be putting more up anywhere.

Nominations have now all been made. I'm so so pleased for Pappy's, I loved their show, so its very well deserved. Also all the newcomers are great. I saw a preview of Micky's at Fat Tuesday and it was brilliant, Zoe's show two weeks ago was great, and Tom's show on Sunday was excellent. Despite this though, I went to see Jon Richardson the other night, and it was hands down one of the best shows I've seen this festival. Truly funny with such lovely touches about his OCD. That man definitely deserves the award.

Other good shows. Saw Waiting for Alice, with Jupitus and Vincent in, which was brilliant, and very funny. Also saw a Pinter play my friend is in, called the Collection. Very mad play, but great production and worth it to see just how scary my friend Sam can be.

Last night was We Are Klang - Dickparty. Their sketches will endlessly be hilarious. Really great show if you can catch it, despite their 'arrogantly short run'.

I saw a Scottish goth the other day who was wearing all the usual moody black gear, but combined with a leather black kilt and black leather sporran. I wanted to high five him for sheer comedy genius. I hope that around the world Goths are gothing (not a word, but I like it) traditional wear everywhere. I didn't high five him though as I have been distributing high fives everywhere recently far too freely. This needs to stop as it will only lower their celebratory value.

Only 3 shows left!!! Hooray!!!

In my last post I referenced that this last week is for drinking. Not wanting to disappoint any of you readers I have taken serious action and thus the events of the past few days are a tad hazy.

Edinburgh bars operate on a different timescale to the rest of the world. Somehow while enjoy a couple of drinks, time will fast forward sci-fi style and you will suddenly realise its 5am and you are fucked on whisky, and there are no cabs and its raining. Quite how this time jumping occurs I'm not sure, but its similar to the oxygen pumping delirium tactics of Vegas casinos and its happened to me the last two nights.

The kids show I was doing has now been cancelled for the rest of the run, so no more early mornings. While I could see this as extra time to rest for our show, its so embedded in my head that instead I am destroying my body through means of intoxication and lack of sleep. Hooray! The aforementioned intoxication and lack of sleep was worst on Saturday where an all night beer fest with my best mate who arrived in Ed, culminated in true pain on Sunday. Our show was so so tough to do, and every time I said a line too loudly my head hurt and I was a little bit sick in my mouth. Never ever good. Luckily I got an hours nap in, and was able to stay out last night on the wee drams till 5am. I feel I am now finally in the Edinburgh groove and more mayhem shall now ensue until the end.

Our show itself has been good. We had a truly great weekend of packed and lovely crowds, and today was a bit tougher but our old mentor Andre Vincent turned up which made up for it. He really enjoyed it and added a few comments which I wish we'd thought about before and will do for the last few shows. Only 6 to go! The end is nigh!

Saw my old uni buddy Jimmy McGhie's show with Stuart Goldsmith on Saturday. Was a good show, but the room they are in was so hot we all thought we would physically melt and die. Can really affect your enjoyment of a show when that happens. Year after year, Edinburgh venues are unable to ventilate shows properly. Sort it ooooouuut.

Also saw Henry Rollins, who was a tad disappointing after the amazing show I saw him do two years ago. He was only allowed an hour at the Balloon and he needs longer to rant than that so it felt like it never really took off sadly. He's still ace though and also not very tall, so I empathise with him.

Tom Basden's show yesterday was ace, and today I'm off to see the Penny Dreadfuls, Jon Richardson who is ace, and a secret Kitson gig at the Speigal that I'm far too excited about! Hooray!

My girlfriend left today. On the one hand this means I get more time to promote and all other stuff etc, but on the other it now means I have no one to chat to and hang out with when in between doing all this other stuff. Its always bizarre how despite being so goddamn busy in Edinburgh, there is also always hours to kill.

The last few days with my girlfriend and brother (who also left today) were spent submerging ourselves in non-comedy culture. Well apart from Arthur Smith's ARTURART which is comedy, but art, and also ace. Definitely should be a 'Spirit Of The Fringe' Award although I'm not sure he'd want it.

The other stuff we did was definitely not comedy. First up on Wednesday night was Fuerzabruta. Now this show has had a hell of a lot of hype and lots of clever quotes before it even arrived at the festival. It is also a truly unique type of show with some very impressive performances, incredible effects and action all around you. Despite this, it ultimately means nothing and that bothers me. There is no storyline, no purpose, nothing to actually make you leave and get you thinking. There is just a man who runs through walls and some nice ladies who get all wet in a swimming pool above you. Yes that may be enough for most blokey blokes - 'what? Smashing walls and tits? Wahey!' - but I left just thinking that it was nice but ultimately a waste of a an hour of my life I will never get back. It reminded me of much lost time at University when the 'devised piece' drama students would prance around in the forests because its 'what they felt', but again ultimately just wasted good pint drinking time.

Then last night we saw Kanye West. I'm a fairy big hip-hop fan and my brother produces UK Hip Hop (shameless plug, buy his new album here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Broken-Window-Verb-T/dp/B000UDQRMW/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/202-7442402-7479035?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1187373209&sr=8-1) so we were really looking forward to this. It started badly with two of the worst support acts I've ever seen. Yes support acts get a hard time, but these guys deserved it. A truly sh*te Scottish rapper called JP and then a DJ who looked bizarrely like Idi Amin. Although I'd like to believe the 'King Of Scotland' was a better DJ, practising his doubles between mass genocide attempts. Then the man himself appeared and in proper show style. A DJ, a man on three keyboards, backing singers and a full string section with harp. String sections are always the sign of a good show. And boy did they perform. Every track you would've wanted with amazing energy and professionalism. This Sadly however the venue was so hot, that when it reached the point of encore possibilities, everyone just gave up and left in need for air. It seems that ventilation is a problem for most venues in Edinburgh. I can only assume that this is because the rest of the year round its so so cold that it doesn't even cross their minds to make somewhere cooler for fear of hypothermia.

So it was good to get a little change from our show, even though all is still going well. We had a couple of kids in the audience yesterday which was tough. Lauren got Neil (our superb techie) to tell them that it was offensive and the parents assured him it was OK. However it turns out that parents and their children aren't huge fans of viking rape gags. Who'd have thought eh? Unfortunately everyone else in the audience felt shocked for them and the atmosphere died a death. F*cking kids.

We've had three reviews this week. All three stars. Two of them read like four stars. Check them here:

http://www.edinburgh-festivals.com/reviews.cfm?id=1293692007

Hooray for the Scotsman! Although I'd like to point out that in our show I am merely the 'small bearded twat'. The Scotsman have added 'fat' all by themselves. Not that it hurts or anything. Sniff sniff.

http://national-student.co.uk/magazine/comedy/fringe07/tea_and_cake.htm

Hooray for the Student Review! The comparison to Chris Morris made me happy for days. I'm not sure it would make Chris happy but it does only say 'the same breed' which might mean we are his third cousin that he never sees or something.

And then there was the Chortle review as you can see on this website. Its kinda how I predicted it would be after my Chortle review that I received in 2003 for stand-up on a new material night where I tried out new material I've never done since. Hey ho. This review really doesn't highlight what the show is about which is always nice. Anyway at least he gave us three when in fact it reads like a two.

We had the Metro in today and it was a great run so fingers crossed they don't hate it much.

Other than that we did sketches on the top of a bus, two 17 year old Scottish boys shouted at me for being English, the children's show is dying on its arse, and I've decided that next week is purely for drinking.....

Today is my one day off from our show or in fact any kind of show. My throat is in full Edinburgh flu mode so to help it along the way in the correct medically recommended way, I was out drinking till 5am last night and will spend today wanting sympathy from people accordingly.

With some intrigue and lots of dutch courage we embarked on a journey to Silent Disco last night. Neither my friend, brother or girlfriend could really conceive the idea of a night where everyone listens to music on different headphones while dancing like loons in an essentially quiet room. And so while others would steer clear of what sounds blatantly like a f*cking stupid evening, we downed a few drinks and went straight there, hoping that curiosity wouldn't damage us as much as it did the cat.

And we had a hell of a lot of fun without any feline mortalities. Its a truly surreal experience, but after about 20 minutes of taking your headphones on and off and laughing at people singing out loud at the top of their voices completely out of tune, you start to get into it. Some top tunes were played to, and the highlight of my evening was when my girlfriend, my brother and I were all bopping to the sounds of the Prodigy (the misogynistic tones of 'Smack My Bitch Up', should you wonder), while our friend Ali was Irish jigging to Riverdance music. Genius. I also discovered that there is little funnier than Marcus Brigstoke dancing, and Mel Giedroyc is a crazy groover, even when my girlfriend nearly knocked her over going nuts at Faithless.

From there it was general Library bar mania. After being unable to get the rest of the crew in without passes on the top level, we simply went downstairs to the unguarded entrance and walked in. If you are going to have security, then do it properly or not at all. It is this kind of security that leaves bad guys in trouble every time in action films. Luckily for us, we just walked in a door rather than any air vent or window breaking action, but its nearly the same. And all that stealthing was made entirely worth it, by the random appearance of two very old friends. I love how incredibly small and incestous Edinburgh is. Well until I meet people I've been avoiding for years that is.

Went to see Kitson on Monday and as previously said, I took the whole Douieb crew. As I expected, we were all in awe of an excellent show. I have heard that other people have said this, but I do always leave his shows wondering exactly why I do stand up when he's around. Its not really very fair and I do think he should stop it for everyone else's sake. The show is sold out now, but its definitely worth waiting around for returns. Touching, clever and damn funny, easily the best thing I've seen this year. Although I knew it would be. God I sound like an arse kisser. To be fair, he was suffering on stage more so than usual due to not having eaten and low blood sugar. Due to my many years of being Diabetic, I did not award him any slack for this and merely believe he is weak.

Show wise, yesterday was OK, but energy was low and my throat was crappy. However, Al Dood, who has reviewed us on www.edfringe.com, obviously enjoyed it and has now also joined my Christmas card list. Jealous yet Evie and Phil McAversham? Jealous? You will be.

So no comedy today. Just a big baked potato, some grub, Fuertobraza and possible hypnotism.

Apologies avid 15 readers that there has been no blog of late. A combination of sore throat, arrival of family and much stapling of flyers has meant there is little time for online musings.

We have now been here for 13 days and the Edinburgh flu hit me bad on Saturday. Its not really flu, just a nasty sore throat, but I'm hoping by calling it flu I will get more sympathy. To be fair I deserve none as although I did strain it projecting (wanky wanky thesp term) in the Studio tent at Fringe Sunday, I have also not aided it by drinking beer and whisky and not sleeping enough. So it's only fair I suppose. Either way, I only have two shows tomorrow to get through then on Wednesday, my day off, I will not speak to anyone, in order for my voice to return. Although I will probably still drink lots of beer.

The whole Douieb clan are now up. Well, just my parents and brother. Despite a couple of small bickerings (none of them involving me, and to be fair if they didn't happen, something would be wrong), its been lovely having them here. Both me and my girlfriend spent two hours walking them around the city on Saturday giving them a guided tour with little to no information about everywhere. I realised that although I have now been up for the last three years, I really don't know anything about anywhere that isn't a fringe venue. I'd like to pretend I will rectify this, but the truth is I probably wont be bothered. Normally I abhor this type of ignorance in people, but I allow for some double standards in life and will endeavour to scold other people for not indulging in local culture despite my own ignorance. Hooray for hypocrisy!

Show-wise its been a bit up and down. We had two tough crowds on the weekend. Reading the other comedians blogs I understand this seems to be normal. Sunday was particularly tough. I cant help but blame this on Fringe Sunday. By giving so many free performances on one day, paying customers seem to enter with folded arms wanting superhuman feats because they've bought a ticket. The strange thing is that while the Sunday crowd were tough, the crowd at the Studio tent on the Meadows were lovely. We did three sketches (that we had toned down slightly) and they lapped them up.

We've had our review from Three Weeks now and its really nice, although still three stars. Have a read:

http://edinburgh.threeweeks.co.uk/detail_review.asp?id=4667

I really like the term unquestionable talent, and that is exactly what we've pasted on all the posters and flyers. Funny how they think the interludes are unnecessary and yet The List thought they were great. Fickle reviewers. Grrrr. Whats more annoying is that we have gagged up several of them since we've been in, but they will never see them. I bet they'll lose sleep over it.

No other reviews yet, although Steve from Chortle was in our show today. I saw him smirk once or twice, but I know that this means nothing. He could well be smirking at the horrible words he will be using in our review. I can but hope I'm wrong.

Also someone called Phil McAversham wrote just one word on our Chortle comments page. That word was 'Awful'. Simply that. I can only assume that he hated it so much he was unable to elaborate. If that is the case then I am pleased and I hope he is still speechless and we have ruined his life with our appalling humour. He is now my least favourite person ever, along with Evie who wrote on edfringe.com. However, Margaret who wrote on Chortle will also be receiving a Christmas card. I feel that if I give everyone the Christmas card incentive then we might get consistently nicer comments.

Off to see Daniel Kitson tonight which I am mightily looking forward too. I am taking my girlfriend and the whole Douieb clan for their first proper Kitson experience. They saw him MC at the CALM charity gig where he was amazing, but they haven't seen his storytelling/Edinburgh show side so hopefully they'll be as blown away as I usually am.

No other exciting things, apart from Andrew O'Neill nearly being killed by a falling ceramic mug while I was talking to him by Cowgate. I am still impressed with the way he shrugged and walked off like nothing had happened despite the fact a mug missed his head by a few millimetres. Bizarrely today I also saw a falling banana narrowly miss a woman's head also in the Cowgate area. I am beginning to suspect I shall only approach the Underbelly while wearing a hardhat.

I am writing today's blog at home after eating a proper dinner with vegetables in it and sitting in my pjs. Have you left the fringe to return home you may ask? Is it just a bizarre dream? No, neither of these things. In fact I am just relishing my first night in at the fringe. Goddamn its good to not be doing anything. The hills of Edinburgh have taken their toll on my feet and my throat is starting to get sore from damp rooms and too much pro-ject-ion darling.

However despite the enjoyment of sitting on a sofa watching trash, actually spending time with my girlfriend and re-charging my batteries, I cant help but feel I'm missing out on some Edinburgh activity. The last two years I've been up to Edinburgh doing other peoples shows. The lack of responsibility has meant I spent the entire time both years drinking ridiculous amounts and generally partying my face off, meeting lots of great and useful people and being a social whore. But this year, I cant cope with that. Maybe its age, or perhaps the fact that I am working hard on my own show, as well as the kids show and stand-up. Or perhaps its both. Either way, I know that I need to stop being wussy and network soon. Love it or hate it, its an incredibly useful thing to do. And I do love it. I have a bizarre enjoyment of meeting and chatting to all sorts of people, even bores because there is normally a nugget of gold in every conversation.

One of my friends claims he knows the most boring man alive. But despite this description, my friend constantly talks about how great it is going out with him because the boredom is so bad it becomes entertainment. I love it when negative qualities are so negative that person becomes a social hero. The truly bad people are those that are just mediocre. A bit annoying, but not overly. These are the people that should either pick themselves up and gain redeeming qualities or plummet downwards into a true personality black hole.

Luckily I find very few comedy people like that and mainly enjoy drinking with them. Of course this could mean that as I don't find any of them like that, I could be the dull person in the industry. Sigh. On facebook today I found out that people rate me as their third most entertaining friend. As much as it is a ridiculous test, that cuts me deep. There is no way of finding out who is more entertaining than me, but they had better be damn entertaining folk or I may have to delete some friends. Shallow? petty? Both? Yes goddammit. And that's what happens when I have a night in instead of occupying myself with erstwhile entertainment. During the course of this blog I've almost talked myself out of staying in and have a horrible feeling that I may find myself slurring at 5am in the loft bar with a bunch of people thinking I am mediocre.

In other news, our show is still doing well, with some nice numbers. We had our first heckler in today which is unusual for sketch show. When in my pants (oh the comedy of men in pants) early on in the show, a man shouted 'there are socks in them' supposedly degrading the size of my genitalia. I waited until our interludey moments and in stand-up style, relished telling him that no socks were present just sheer large balls, which he loved and that I would do a pants dance purely for him. No further heckling ensued and I felt like I had won a minor battle, despite being only in my pants while doing so. Its great to have no dignity.
Also just read someone's review on our show on www.edfringe.com:

http://www.edfringe.com/reviews/read.html?id=5687

That person, or Jack Cullen as it says on the review is my new best friend. I will track him down and send him Christmas cards. Nice ones not ones with dead reindeer on.

Also performed as the Green Meanie in the shop window of John Lewis today. Once again, I realised I have no dignity.

More soon....

Total lack of bloggage yesterday and today's entry shall be merely be a brief rundown of the excitement that is my life.

Firstly, our first review appeared yesterday. Here it is:
http://www.list.co.uk/article/3880-tea-and-cake/

What's happened here is that the reviewer seemed to really like the show, possibly even love it, to the point where they wrote the final sentence as 'recommended', and yet then had some true mental spaz out and only gave it three stars. Why? you might cry. And so you should. And I did. While it means we cannot join the hordes of acts posting large 4 and 5 star strips over their pics, it does give us some great quotes which is fabbo. We now await the Scotsman. The paper that is. We are not just sitting here hoping for the arrival of an Edinburgh citizen. Review should be out soonish, but there's no telling.

Other than that the show itself is rockin'. Its slicker than ever and people keep laughing in all sorts of different places everyday so we have no idea which ones are surefire winners. Lots of people have approached me and Lauren while flyering and said how much they loved it which made me want to kiss them all, although I didn't incase of them pressing charges.

Stand-ups been cool too. Had a lovely gig at Spank! last night. Didn't mean to get quite as drunk as I was, but had been for a few drinks with my girlfriend after seeing the mighty Jason Byrne, and then continued to drink until my set at 2am. I managed to slur several words and forget loads of new material, but despite this, had a stonker. And again tonight the the 99 club with now remembered new material. I'm very much thinking that next year may be the year for an hour but cant help but worry that I'm not yet ready. Only time will tell. That and gigs.

Right sorry for the boring non-themed one, but gotta be the green meanie twice tomorrow, for the show and the window of John Lewis so that even more people can see me sweat profusely in a fat green suit. More banter soon.....

Having a top reviewer into your show can really make you quite scared. Its crazy that these little pieces of personal opinion can be so important in Edinburgh, and that one person's judgement can change the way a show is selling. Our first one in the List should be out today and the Scotsman tomorrow, with no indication how much either of them hated or loved us. I keep hearing that you are not meant to take them too to heart or get too excited about them but its difficult when its your first ever Edinburgh review.

Yesterdays show was a damn good one. We flyered loads and pulled some favours so we had a nice crowd of 21. The comics in the crowd loved the darker stuff which meant there were several laughs we hadn't got before, which was great. All in all I think we did the best we could, so if the critic hated it, there wasn't much we could do.

Only interesting bit of criticism was from the mighty Alexis Dubus who had popped down to Edinburgh with his bad self for a couple of days. He said he enjoyed it but we can afford to muck about a bit more. I think he's right on this. Mucking about was the funniest thing about Pappy's the other day and always the best thing about Klang. I feel now we know our show a lot better, its probably really time to enjoy it even more. Sadly, if only this had been done before we got to Edinburgh.

So now we wait and see, which is the worst part. My girlfriend arrives today which will cheer me up considerably regardless, and I'm taking her to see Jason Byrne who never ceases to make me laugh. After that she is being unwittingly dragged to Spank! for my 10-15 stand-up set that I'm looking forward too. I love that late night mental gig, although I'm a bit rusty due to sketch work, so need to prepare a tad.

Last night saw Zoe Lyons show which was great as she always is. Some lovely stuff about 'When the Wind Blows' that made me laugh a lot. That book is so damaging to kids.
Also went to 'Secret Gig' at the Green Room. Different show every night, but last night was Mickey D's Ozfest. A mental hour of Oz comedy with shots provided. All damn good.

PS just seen that one line of my blog was front page on Chortle! Hooray! Sadly however its my line about bagpipes, which now means I'll be hated by all Scots. Sorry Scots.

The Edinburgh Festival is quite possibly the worst place in the world to have a hangover. No matter where you go, there are loads of people and horrendous amounts of noise. While in post-drunken sadness today, I passed 2 brass bands, some singing kids, something else that was loud and couldn't even look at due to pain and a bagpipes player all in one stretch of street. I'm fairly sure the bagpipes were invented while pissed, and yet their sound that is not too dissimilar to a cat being maimed is one of the worst things you can hear when you feel ill.

The reason for the hangover was the Fringe launch party last night. Far from being so good I drank to enjoy it, it was a hugely disorganised mess and we had to do 3 sketches on a cabaret stage in front of 30 people who didn't give a shit and talked all the way through. So to heal I had to stay at the Teviot until 5am engaging in merry banter with a mix of old friends, comedy buddies and random people with whom I had senseless slurry conversations. Hurray!

The downside of this of course was the several times aforementioned pain. I have discovered that I have trouble being good at flyering anyway, but trying to encourage people to see your show, when you yourself would have preferred to cancel it for the day and go back to bed, is pretty tough.

I have kind of cracked the flyering now and both Lauren and I have tag lines that we say. Lauren opts for the clever and appropriate 'Don't Come....if you're easily offended', while I simply shout at people 'its got Vikings in it!'. This does seem to work and on witnessing a man actually double take on this and come back for a flyer, several other shows started lying and saying they too had vikings in their shows. I feel I have struck a people grabbing goldmine. I did once try saying their was a pirate in it too, but I have been told that pirates are now too populist which saddens me.

Other than that, our shows been selling more than I thought it would. The shows got slicker as well as the audiences getting better. We managed to divide the audience yesterday though with the right hand laughing loudly, but the left being deadly silent. This had upset me until I bumped into a couple today who said they had been the day before and loved it, but their side was quiet because an older man had fallen asleep and made everyone a bit awkward. I have resigned myself to making the show louder and put in less comfy chairs so this cannot happen again.

Also had a nice set at the 99 Club tonight. All the other acts were ace (Matt Crosby, Caroline Mabey, Caroline Clifford and Henning Wehn), and it was an odd but very fun little room. Tried two new gags which worked ok, and was happy to have from sketches for a bit. I am aiming to have written a whole load of new stuff by the end of Edinburgh, so we'll see if I can be disciplined enough. The beer says no.

Lastly, saw Pappy's Fun Club today which was truly truly brilliant and one of the best shows I've seen in ages. I couldn't rave about it enough, just go and watch it.
Also watched James Dowdswell's show 'Wine' which I really enjoyed. Some truly cracking gags and lovely stories. He deserves to do damn well with that. Go see them both! After you've seen Tea and Cake of course.

Right, if my bed had a phone it would be calling me, so I'm off. More reviewers in tomorrow, so need beauty sleep to make sure there are as few screw ups as possible and therefore they can only hate it for its substance, writing, and performance. Oh the fear.

Did my first run of the kids show the 'Green Meanie' this morning. Fat character suits are disturbingly hot and sweaty. Never again will I mock the people at Disney World, or indeed very fat people. The heat was so bad that it took me and hour to recover afterwards. However the show went well and the Scotsman were in so fingers crossed. One more run tomorrow, then sleep ins till next Friday.

Our show went well too. The flyering has picked up cos its the weekend and we had about 20 something in which was luvverlee. Constant laughs except the sketch about the clown who has cancer but the doctor laughs at him regardless. Too dark for some. Anyhoo, was a lot of fun. Still debating what sketches to do at the launch tomorrow. Many people saying everyone will be wasted anyway and we are on at 10.20 so could be tough.

Not much else to report. Just watched Danielle Ward's Psister Psycho and it was brilliantly nuts! Really great great show and you should go and see it nowish. Except its not on now. Unless you are reading this while its on tomorrow.

I need to sleep. This years Edinburgh is making me feel old. Wanted to head to Mooners or Spank! but cant really socialise as my brain is destroyed. Drunken networking will start soon though....much to the disappointment of everyone else in Edinburgh.

Like some sort of special deal today's blog details the last couple of days. I hope you feel like this is some sort of treat, but the true reason is that I tried to type up stuff yesterday night but was so tired my eyes kept going blurry and I was typing what looked like some sort of eastern European dialect.

So last two days have been manic but good. However three main things have particularly distressed me.

1) There are two comics I keep seeing who look uncannily like each other, aside from different hairstyles. I know I've gigged with the both and they are definitely different people, but I have no idea of the name of one of them and which one is which. I wonder if they know they look disturbingly alike or if it is all some mean trick with wigs to screw me up. It could also be tired hallucinations. Only time will tell, but I have to find out soon or I'll go crazy.

2) Within two days I've lost three different types of underwear for no good reason. For the show I wear 'comedy y-fronts'. As yesterday was the first show I wore my bright green 'lucky pants'. Sadly I happen to own a pair of 'lucky socks' as well and thought I would wear those too. Not a superstitious thing you understand but more a co-ordination moment that would make Trinny and Susannah cream themselves. However when putting my foot into the socks they tore in two, thus creating instant superstition fears. Also as a result of the awkward pants, I keep a pair of boxers in my bag for a much needed after show change and a possible conversation point while flyering (although this is not needed now that I've realised that by telling people we are doing a show with 'vikings in it', it seems to lure them in. Vikings are great). However, yesterdays pair of boxers went a wandering. I'm hoping, stolen by a fan. The sad truth is that somewhere in Edinburgh are my pair of boxers and I will be reduced to washing clothes one day earlier whilst someone out there points at them an says 'urgh' not realising their cleanliness. A small child immigrant slave labour worker for Primark is crying right now. (The third underwear was just a pair of lost socks that I found again. Not very exciting, but I feel its worth a mention because of the rule of three.)

3) Not so much a gripe, more an observation. I am both perturbed and delighted at the fact that Edinburgh is one of the few places you can stand in a cue at a Sandwich shop next to someone dressed as a vampire, someone as a Victorian and a woman in just her suspenders (who had neither the body nor stance to carry them off) and yet no one bats an eyelid. Amazing. I'm wearing a bowler hat and printed t-shirt to flyer and I was worried I'd look a twat. Never will I worry again.

Other than these things, first show yesterday went well performance wise. Me and Lauren were proud of its slickness. However we only had 6 people in ( all of whom were great) and a reviewer who did not make any sounds or facial expressions and so I will live in fear for the next week until it is printed and I can cry or cheer. It'll be my first Ed review ever so regardless of how important it is, I'll be emotionally scarred by it one way or another. If it is bad then I will just have to resort to stealing Tommy Tiernan's quotes as I had planned.
Today's show was again a great run and with 10 people in the crowd. However, everyone stifled their laughter which was so annoying. We heard and saw several starts of bug laughs that were never carried out. Please don't be afraid people. Give it up and enjoy. Or hate us fully. One or the other.

We've maybe got a few bits to change but it feels like we know the show inside out now and still haven't given it a run in a full room. We might never get a full room, but aren't willing to change it until we know for sure.

Other than that, I've got my first run of my kids show tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn, despite not knowing my lines. ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! However, did Comedy 4 Kids today and had a really nice gig, as well as managing to write two new gags that can be added to my grown up set. Thus I have more child performing confidence than I did before. I love watching Comedy 4 Kids. Micky D MC'd brilliantly, and Mitch Benn had a great song about wanting to swear, but the star of the show was 11 year old Ross who had some gags that were way too good for his age. I partly wanted to crush his hopes of being a comic for fear of competition in ten years time.

And tonight, I'm back at the flat, on a Friday night at the festival, because I am so tired it hurts. Flyering, rehearsing, performing and gigging really takes it out of you. Especially if you drink every day too because you have no willpower. Something I really should learn.

Over and out.

I have decided that titles are redundant and so each Edinburgh day will be listed much like a war journal. Only with less violence. However should you choose to read all of these from here on as though I am in camo gear and typing while avoiding enemy fire, please do. It makes me seem cooler.

Our first show is tomorrow, and all my lines are solidly in my head I think. This will be tested tomorrow. Sadly however I will have to stay u a large proportion of tonight learning my lines for the kids show I'm in (Green Meanie at the Green Room. I am the meanie fo sho), which could mean that by tomorrow all scripts clash and everyone loses out. We can but hope for the best.

On the plus side, we started flyering today and it went surprisingly well. By that I mean no one spat at us and we managed to give out about 200 flyers to an empty road on a rainy day. One point to us. However, the rain took its toll on the crappy bowler hat I wear for flyering which is now ruined by day one. One point deducted. We also gave a flyer to a very enthusiastic 12 year old and her mum. The 12 year old really wants to come to the show, but has no idea that we have several rape gags, and jokes about cancer. One point to us.

For the kids show I get to wear a huge green suit. One point. We got two free drinks at the Underbelly press launch. A further point. Everyone's show snippets at the launch seemed really polished and I got very scared. Point deducted. Our posters are bloody everywhere and everyone likes them. One point.

Which all in all leaves me with two points for a whole days work. Ultimately these points are much like supermarket club cards where I will add them all up but they will amount to nothing except self disappointment. And either way, my last two points will now be lost by only having a total of about 6 hours sleep in my first two nights here. Once the hallucinations kick in, this may well become more like a war journal.

Arived. Got racist cabbie to flat. Flat amazing but so much further away from most things than I thought it would be. Racist cabbie disguised this by keeping me entertained/shocked with outlandish racism on the way. True distance only revealed when I decided to carry all the props to the Underbelly. 20mins of walking with a heavy bag. Schoolboy error.

Tech run was great. Then drank some at an old uni friends house (they are doing a play called 'Grey Days' go see it!) including some very gone off rum called 'Shoh' or something. Either way, it was bad. Then more pints and general banter. Only day one and already tired. This month is gonna be so so long....