03/12/07
Seasonally Affected -
Categories: Over the last two weeks the skies have become grey and gloomy. I can't stand waking up to days like this and attempting to be productive, knowing full well it would suit me much more to stay tucked up in bed with a mug of tea and lots of nice things to eat, read and watch. There is little to enjoy about this time of year. People are generally more grumpy, hiding their grimaces at the weather under many layers of scarfs, jackets and hats. This is partly due to the weather, but also because of the lack of daytime in our days. Humans aren't naturally nocturnal. Not even comedians, although it does seem to be the case at times. It feels like I'm only awake for a few hours before it's night again. This is probably factually true due to my ability to sleep in for too long thus becoming the protagonist of my own seasonal affected depression.
The countdown to Christmas also doesn't help, especially as it seems to have started as early as September this year. It is a commonly heard phrase 'ooh that company's Christmas ads/those Christmas lights/that dodgy slightly scary fat man dressed as Santa has started earlier than normal'. This is often right. I feel as if it will only be a matter of years until Christmas adverts start on Boxing Day as some sort of sick tribute to Slade's wish of everyday celebration. Of course they were horribly wrong with that song. Were it to be 'Christmas everyday', the world would fall into severe recession as people were unable to work and yet at the same time would need to purchase a constant supply of presents. Adults would die by the age of 30 due to excessive food and booze consumption and children would die from lack of sleep due to over excitement. The image that Slade were actually singing about was not a wonderful utopia but instead a horrible nightmarish view of a species destroying itself through greed.
This year I am on a mission to spend Christmas abroad. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas at home. I enjoy the couple of days of rest, seeing family and friends as well as drinking and eating until I fall asleep in front of a disaster of a Christmas special on TV. The real reason for this planned venture is that its the only time of year that my girlfriend and I can go away together due to the unfair way that school timetables clash with important times of the year for comedy. Summer holidays clash with Edinburgh, Easter and October half terms with busy gig periods. So Christmas is the only reasonably lengthy break. Well at least until I'm a big enough act to do the Christmas shows anyway. And before you ask, my girlfriend isn't still at school, she's a trainee teacher. Although it would have made some holiday flight options cheaper if she was.
So we've been spending the last few days doing vast amounts of Internet searching for the ideal escape. We have indeed left it very late, and it appears that many other people are planning to escape Blighty this year too, as there's pretty much nothing left unless I want to hang out with the type of people I want to escape from in Lanzarote or somewhere even less desirable. But we are not to be defeated, and so the searching will continue until we find some sort of sunny retreat.
None of this is helped by my laptop deciding that it is starting to die. The battery has finally gone on it and it is only charging if I hold it at a very strange angle. the result of this is that I hold my head at a very strange angle too and my world is slowly becoming lopsided. I don't like it when technology dies. I think its a long deep seated issue that started with watching Optimus Prime die in Transformers the Movie (the cartoon one). I don't think I've ever recovered.
Not everything is doom and gloom. So far all gigs have been nice, even though a couple have been a tad odd. Having a slightly murderous heckle in Broadstairs ('we want to bury you in our gardens', said in the nicest possible way) was one such moment and a crazy almost treacherous journey to the Isle of Wight being another ( 7 hours of driving in torrential rain and a hi-speed ferry journey in turbulent waters). Fat Tuesday has also been lovely and sold out too which is always a plus and our last one for the year should be great too.
Also our kittens get neutered this week. Its not a nice thing on the whole, the operation and that, but it does mean they will be allowed outside soon. This is good news as they have just figured out how to climb on the highest shelves in our living room and onto our wall-hanging TV. Its only so funny saying 'the cats are on the TV' for a couple of times. After that I am beginning to get genuinely worried about the safety of our telly.
Tomorrow I have a gig where I have promised to do 10 minutes of surreal gags. Trouble is I haven't written any. I may just dress as a fish and sing a scat jazz version of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
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