06/02/08
Swings, Roundabouts and boring trains -
Categories: I'm currently sitting on the longest most boring train journey of my life. I've been on longer train journeys across parts of Europe, but they didn't have that sheer dullness that the slow train from Edinburgh to London does. At least as you cross Europe the views are astounding, passing mountains, valleys and general lovely things. The same cannot be said for the painfully grey suicide inducing outskirts of Durham. Its my fault for not checking which was the fast train and which was the slow, subsequently choosing the latter and therefore throwing away a good hour and a half of my life that I could have spent on my own sofa at home instead of sitting bolt upright in a seat that appears to be made of the most uncomfortable materials known to humankind while someone in front of me eats sandwiches that smell of badger sick. This is all made minutely bearable by the addition of free wi-fi on the train and my laptop. Yes, that's right, the future is now.
Despite my misery, its all been for a very worthy reason. I've just spent two lovely nights in Scotland doing the Stand in Edinburgh and Glasgow, both of which are two of the nicest gigs I've ever done. I've always been too lazy to take two days out to trek up Northenest and do the Scottish circuit, but after hearing umpteen million times that the Stand was one of the best clubs in the UK, I thought I really should make the effort. I'm pleased to say that the trip was entirely worth it. Monday night in Edinburgh was truly lovely and rammed full of a up-for-it comedy crowd. It was also great to meet acts who never really head south and only do the Scottish scene. Everyone was really welcoming and it was one of the most enjoyable gigs I've had in a long time. the club kindly booked me into the hotel across the road and so I was able to have a few beers and literally crawl home after which is always a bonus. Tuesday night was a similar experience only with even more audience, and again a really top night.
I'd never been to Edinburgh except for during the festival so it was nice to walk around without being harassed by dickheads on stilts, four hundred flyerers, and people shouting about their new play where Jesus is a doorman of a blues bar and all the women are aliens. Its such a beautiful city and for the first time in ages I was in the right frame of mind to sit down and churn out a ton of writing that I was meant to do ages ago. The downside to this was while I typed I lost count of how many coffees I had been drinking and spent the afternoon and evening buzzing on a caffeine high with scary breath like the weird maths supply teacher that everyone has to endure for three days of the year in their school days. How these people keep being re-hired year in year out when all they do is shout and smell of coffee always worried me at the time.
Glasgow was nice too, which was a surprise after constantly hearing it being used as the butt of many a joke. The central area by the stations was very smart, clean and didn't really look like gangland gun and crack territory. Although it could all be to do with where I visited. Tourists may say the same about London, but then its unlikely they'll have ever visited Tottenham. I was however disappointed by the lack of battered and greasy food. I spent an hour walking around the city this morning in search for a decent fry up and had to finally settle for a mediocre Starbucks panini. There are some stereotypes I wish the city had lived up to.
Its always good to have a bit of a change of scenery and I felt like I needed it, after two rather unfriendly London audiences at my shows on the weekend. I'll never understand why people will pay upwards of £10 to sit in a room and be hostile when I'm sure there's a good job in the police or army that they could take up and get paid to do the same thing without making me feel uncomfortable. Friday was a gig that I have not enjoyed before. A crowd that is encouraged to heckle and shout before the first act is on is never a good sign, and on Friday I did not have my heckle head on and suffered for it. I survived by spending the set thinking about the fact I was going to watch Cloverfield after the gig and what would happen if the dickheads who kept shouting out where to be eaten by a giant monster while I was on stage. I'd like to think that I'd stand there and chuckle. The truth of course is that I would scream a lot before also getting eaten, and actually dying on stage.
The gig on Saturday wasn't much better although this was helped by the fact that none of the big named acts before me had a good night either and so the death of me as the open spot was not quite as stand-out as it would have been otherwise. Again hostile boozed up stag and hen do's who would much rather have been rutting in an alley and fighting things than watching comedy. I tried to stay professional but only lasted 8 minutes instead of 10 and ran away. I was fairly sure that if I was a more experienced comic I could have turned it around a tad, but my thinking was changed when I watched the big club regular acts also suffer at the hands of idiots. The management were lovely and said they enjoyed my stuff and apologised for the crowd, which also perked me up a bit.
But the last two nights have boosted the confidence back up nicely in time for the rest of the month. Thanks Scottish peoples. The rest of February is filled with all sorts of shows including a storytelling night at the Museum of London tomorrow. Museum's at night are generally a bit scary because of all the dead things, but this sounds like it will just be very nice so I'm looking forward to it. Its also free and awesomeness such as Simon Munnery and Will Adamsdale are on, so you should come along. There, you've been told.
All I need now is for this train to pull in at Kings Cross sometime before 2009...
RSS Feed