26/02/08
Where is everyone? -
Categories: Fat Tuesday got cancelled tonight for the first time in over 18 months for no real reason. There's no big footie game on, there's no national holiday or anything like that. In fact my only conclusion is that someone has organised a big special event or party and invited everyone except me. To be fair, while that would be a large amount of rejection to deal with, I am so hungover today that I wouldn't have minded too much, although they could have at least had the courtesy to forewarn me so that I wouldn't have to leave my house or pay any cancellation fees out of my own pocket. A pocket that already only had about 4p and some moths in it.
The gig was listed in the London Lite today as the recommended gig and that once again made little to no difference. According to one very annoying punter tonight the reason we were empty was because the poster at the bar was out of date. Apparently, that means I don't know how to run a gig and really need to sort that out if I expect people to come along. I did point out that we had sold out every gig since September till tonight, that the email list of 800 people and Facebook group of 550 people and all the listings were generally more important than posters and that this genuinely was a freak occurrence. I also wanted to point out that why, when there were only five audience members in the room, one of them had to be a complete and utter dickhead. However I refrained from this only in the hope that she will turn up again on a night where the posters are wrong (as they often are) and the place is packed. Then I will have a pre-transcribed script with all of her previous words on and I will make her eat it.
The problem is, overall its me who looks like the idiot. That punter had never been before, and neither had three of the acts, so how were they to know that our gig ever does well? Its the most cliched phrase in the comedy world when you say 'you should have been at the last gig', and as I said them tonight I knew I had automatically lost 5% of dignity. Despite the fact I know I am telling the truth as I tried to explain to one of the acts who had travelled a fair distance to be there, I felt like a big liar. I suppose its like that method where the police stick all the culprits of a crime in a room together and observe them. The one who isn't panicking and looking nervous is the criminal. Everyone else is too worried that they might be found guilty without having done anything. To be fair my situation is not really anything like that, especially when they get wrongly accused and there's a film with a Baldwin in or something. I think crime suspects are on the whole, much worse off.
I don't mind paying out of my pocket for the acts either especially as I said it here which means by complaining about it I should indeed print that off and eat my own words too:
http://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/features/2855/Tiernan_Douieb-interview.html
The problem is at the mo, I am very broke and so I quite selfishly hope that if this happens the acts will just go, 'no it's fine' which a lot of them who are nice do. Its not fair to ask that though, something I realise as a working comic. Although I'm usually the goon who says 'no its fine' and therefore loses either way. I reckon after tonight though I may have to put some small print when I email people. I'll fit in fee stuff with some copy and pasted mortgage blurb so no one bothers to check it.
But it genuinely is a great and popular gig until tonight, so fingers crossed for the next one in two weeks time. At least I can rest my hangover away. This is an unjustified hangover as well. I didn't drink enough last night at the much fun Chortle awards to constitute this much pain. I fear this is the harshness of being older. I think my liver hates me. It was worth it though, as last night was really good and although I find something quite odd about mingling with comedy people outside of Edinburgh, it was great to catch up with some people. I was a tad sad Fat Tuesday didn't win the small club award, but it went to a deserved winner with Falling Down With Laughter. I say deserved but as they are on the same night as us I have never been. In fact it means Alexis and Sy who run it are our main rivals. Double in fact - tonight my FT cohort Georgie pointed out that Alexis' name is an amalgamation of both mine and Georgie's names (his real name being Alex). Alexis, I fear you might actually be my real arch nemesis and we may have to dual.
Well done to all the peoples who won last night. Thanks to Arthur Smith it was a wonderfully funny and brief awards ceremony in the best of ways and although people joked about it the nominations are hella important. That and you can never argue with a free bar. Well unless you are my liver of course.
Right now back to re-cooperation and watching the car crash of a show that is Lilly Allen pretending to be interesting.....
btw as stolen from my brother's blog, this is amazingly funny, although possibly a bit racist. Hmmm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw
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