13/04/08
The Secret to Small People's Laughs -
Categories: I've finally worked out how to do Comedy 4 Kids and its taken me a ludicrously long time. As I said in my previous blog I did the lovely Comedy Club 4 Kids in Brighton last week and then again in Stamford yesterday, with several more coming up. Its normally one of those gigs that terrifies me. Kids have a lovely tendency to show you how crap you are in the worst ways. Forget nasty heckles, there really is nothing more demeaning than a group of kids being so bored by you that they play tag in the aisles or start drawing on each other.
I've never had a bad C4K gig before, having grown-up with a younger brother and cousins, I've always had a vague idea of how to keep children entertained. Although entertaining my sibling was less a case of imagination and more of 'what can I throw at his head today to make him cry and sod off?'. At the time he did ask for it though by responding to questions from my parents such as 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' with such answers as 'God. So I can rule everything you stupid.'
Entertaining them all at the time was easy because I too was a kid so I know what to say to make them laugh because it was also whatever made me giggle. Now of course I like to believe that my sense of humour has developed beyond that of an 8 year old and that's why comedy for kids is a scary prospect. Since those times of youth I've gained a better understanding of the world and say clever and witty things about its inhabitants and their behavior. In reality though, all that's happened to my sense of humour is that I've added swear words to it and some dick gags. Other than that, its still pretty childish. And that's why, finally last week, I discovered the secret to making kids laugh and its much much easier than I ever thought it would be.
Here it is, and I'm not going to charge you £2 for it with some top dieting tips or do run ludicrously expensive classes in it, you can just have it for free. The trick is to use the words 'poo', 'wee' and 'bum' a lot. That's it. Trust me, by saying these multiple times, you can have a group of children ages 4-11 wetting themselves with laughter for a full 15 minutes. Don't get me wrong, kids are smarter than you think and lots of other jokes work too, but the killer gag is always the one that ends with 'poo'. Its the equivalent of the adult 'dick' gag. I'd love to say I knew exactly what was so funny about it, but I don't, and in fact as an adult I find myself also still laughing spontaneously at the word. That's it, the secret of comedy is 'poo' and anyone who dismisses toilet humour clearly had a crap childhood, no pun intended.
Aside from that revelation, I've spent most of the week recovering from co-hosting the London leg of Mark Watson's 24 Hour show last Sunday and Monday. It was a truly great experience but even at my sprightly young age of 27, staying up all night ruins me for days. It was a true test keeping people entertained for that long and there was little actual stand-up involved, and more games and silly challenges, all of which were really fun. Highlights include sellotaping 140 odd spoons to a man's face, making a random estate agent stand on one leg for 20 minutes, playing guess who via web cam, a Mark Watson face parade, a dirty dancing finale and the most amazing bit, having Sir Terry Jones read us a children's story he'd just written (which incidentally was very funny but contained neither poo nor wee and mainly an alligator). It really was one of those nights/days I wont forget in a while and the crowd and all the other acts were fantastic, having really worked together to make it fun. Hopefully, despite being medically advised not to, Mark will do another one soonish.
I'm now off to discuss with my sketch group about writing several sketches to do with 'poo', one to do with 'wee' and changing our show name to 'wee and cake'. I think we'll sell out everyday.
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