25/07/08
Primark Scream -
Categories: Sorry once again for total lack of blog. As explained before it is the Edinburgh lead-up. Only three days till I head across the border where I hear the weather is nicely rainy and cold. Good to know my expectations wont be let down then. I promise that once I get there you shall once again all receive daily bloggage and updates of the Fringe madness. So until then here be a brief rundown of the more interesting aspects of my life since last blog. I shall give each section headings so that it seems like a shitty article in the Daily Mail.
CAMP BESTIVAL
I headed up to this delightful mini-festival last weekend for some gig action. Whilst I was looking forward to it, there was slight disheartenment knowing that Latitude was going on at the same time with a far more mega comedy line-up. Latitude smatitude though, as it was a damn good weekend overall. Highlights include watching Matt Reed's pop up tent not pop back down when we had to leave (not so easy now is it? hahahah), insulting a burlesque dancer, eating tiny cucumber sandwiches, seeing the biggest pig ever (seriously, it was the size of a bear), DJ Barry Peters, and JJ Whitehead trying to form a pick-pocketing circle out of the kids in the front row of the comedy tent.
Downsides were: a sun burnt nose, someone I know talking to me all the way through the only act I wanted to see, and going on an exercise bike that charged your phone, only to slog for 20 mins and not even gain a bar of battery. Suckfest.
Both nights I did were a lot of fun though and props to the Donnelly, Martin, Reed and Dixon who made it all bearable. Best line: Chris Martin's name for a camp superhero - Wolverqueen. Lovely work.
RUG SITTING
Last night I did Terry Saunders bloody lovely gig 'Sitting On A Rug' in Brighton. Rather than follow a normal gig format, the first half is stand-up sets, but the second half is the comics sitting on stage and having a chat. Tried some new bits in the set bit, 50% of which worked and 50% of which sucked massively. Also I wrote a proper joke. However it is a verbal gag, but please do ask me when you see me cos I'm hella proud.
On journey home Kevin Shepherd and I devised new types of comedy shows for Terry to pilot. Best idea was 'Odd Laughter In Places.' Just someone manically laughing in inappropriate places. Much opportunity for fun to be had. Or not.
On the way to meet Kevin and Terry I had to get a train during rush hour. In a mere 30 seconds as the doors closed and my face was pressed into someone's sweaty back, I realised how much I never ever wish to return to rush hour commuting. I think its the closest humans get to being treated like animals only without the dog biscuits and stroking.
TEA (AND CAKE) TIME
This show is so close to being ready it almost hurts in the face. We finally nailed the scene that we so hadn't nailed before and its all just tiny tiny bits that we have to sort before we do the first show next Thursday. Next Thursday? Arrrrrrgh!! Typing it makes it all the more scary.
Today we bought costume. We had no idea what the costume would be and so it took 7 hours in the West End going through what I can only describe as the bit of Inferno that Dante forgot to leave in. Primark is quite possibly the worst shop in the world and not just because it makes third world children make all its clothes. On a much less moral level its like some sort of overheated battle field where everyone that has ever been on Jeremy Kyle fights over a £2.50 polo shirt. Luckily I only have to go there once a year when Edinburgh costume is needed otherwise I think it would start to give me the compulsion to kill.
Strangely despite the fact that its such a terrible place, people (including my girlfriend) seem to see it as a truly wonderful place. I can only put this down to people liking a lot of truly horrible things. I will never understand how Ikea, Soulja Boy or Nazis every got popular, but they did and it again proves that people are dickheads.
We are still on the hunt for someone to be in a bear suit in a show for the last 30 seconds of our show. We've got a few people booked in but desperately need a volunteer for July 31st. Sadly the person doing it doesn't really get anything out of it, apart from getting to wear a damn cool bear suit. To be fair, what else would you want in life? If you are up for it, especially on the 31st, please let me know.
ROSIE AND BELLA
Our cats now have a cat flap and cant work out for the life of them how to use it. We have to leave it propped open or they cant work out how to push the flap bit. I've tried physically pushing them through it but they use peaceful protest tactics and just flop as still as possible so they cant fit through. I'm starting to think they might well be the first ever special needs cats. Today Rosie spent five minutes hissing at herself in the mirror. That's just stupid.
Right that's all for now. Sorry if its not particularly insightful or witty but at the moment my brain is filled with trying to do new gags for the stand-up and bits for the sketch which means that all other times I am reserving the funny. Frankly I'm miserable, but its all for a good cause. :-)
Will resume all writings from Sunday onwards!
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